Marriage & Religionby Heather Long | More from this Blogger 06 Apr 2006 04:56 AM Do you and your spouse share the same religion? While it may not seem important to some people, to others the sharing and mingling of faith and belief is paramount to the success of a marriage. That is not to suggest that marriages that mix faith do not survive, in fact, quite the opposite. There are many examples of mixed faith relationships that do quite well and the couple flourishes. But it takes a strong sense of self and a strong sense of respect for the beliefs of others for such a relationship to not be impacted by worshipping separately. Many religious texts do not espouse the marrying of someone who does not share your beliefs. In fact, in at least one or two, they discuss the fact that those are not real marriages in the eyes of that belief. So if your spouse does not share your beliefs, are you not really married to them in religious sense? Is your relationship a secular union and if so - what is the difference? I speak from experience here, because my husband and I do not share the same faith. We were both brought up differently and he has strong, tangible beliefs and I have equally strong, tangible beliefs. Surprisingly, or so it would seem to friends of ours, we have never had a conflict over the disparity in our beliefs. When asked, separately, we also apparently gave the same answer as to why we've never really had a disagreement on the subject. My husband and I may have different belief systems, but we are united in our philosophy about religion. Religion, like marriage, is deeply personal. However we were raised, we chose our own faiths through our education, our beliefs and ultimately, our personal faith. While I believe in my truth and I feel my faith very deeply; so to does my husband. Yet, they are not the same - so, which one of us is right? Which one of us is wrong? That is the crux of disagreements in mixed faith marriages that embrace different customs and belief systems. The idea that one is right or wrong; when your philosophy does not allow you to respect another person's beliefs then yes, you're going to have problems. Now that's not to say it's wrong - this is again, a personal choice. If you cannot philosophically accept a different faith for a different person then it's likely you will experience conflict in a mixed faith marriage. So when it comes down to matters of faith, how important is it to you that your spouse share your beliefs and faith? Learn more about Heather Long  Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments michellemybelle (5) 15 Jun 2006 11:50 AMI need some good advice. My husband and I have both grown up in the same religion, and even married in it. Recently, he told me that he no longer believes in our religion, so, now he is considering living a whole different lifestyle with different values and beliefs. How should I act? I am scared to raise children with someone who lives a lifestyle that I don't agree with. ccaruso (10) 01 Dec 2006 09:38 AMMy husband and I have a different opinion in religion as well. He's Catholic and I'm a secular humanist (athiest). The thing is, I was a secular humanist when I met him and I was raising my children (from a different marriage) that way as well (to look to science for answers). When I met him, he knew this. He told me that he wasn't sure about it, but he respected it. Just as I respected his beliefs. We don't talk about my beliefs, or lack thereof much, but it does help that he is not a practicing Catholic. He is not strong in his beliefs and he has told me many times that I do make sense when I explain to him why religion doesn't make sense to me. I'm not trying to convert him or anything like that. Just as you shouldn't try to convert your husband. But, do try to understand why he's dismissing his previous beliefs and why this new belief system makes more sense to him. And he should do the same with you. As with any marital dillema, communication is always the key. Maybe his reasons will make sense to you to and you'll reevaluate your beliefs or maybe it won't and you'll be able to reach some common ground. The important thing is, TALK about it openly, freely, and respectful of each other. You have a right to believe what you want to believe--both of you. Community Tags belief systems, marriage, philosophy, religion, shared faith Discuss this article
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