Marriage Advice: Don't Go To Bed Angryby Heather Long | More from this Blogger 20 Jun 2006 05:42 PM Not going to bed angry sounds great in theory, but in the middle of a knockdown, drag-out fight or extended silent treatment, going to bed is a welcome escape. Falling asleep is another matter. Anger erodes relationships; it resides deep in a person's soul, affecting reactions, the ability to love and even physical health. While anger may seem exceptionally demonstrative and extroverted, anger can also be very introverted and hidden as a person bottles up their bitterness and ill thoughts. Make Appointments If you are extremely angry and resolution is the last thing on your mind, then it is better to take a step back from each other. Agree to table the discussion, don't just storm off to your separate corners. Make a conscious agreement that says you are not going to resolve this right now, let's table the discussion until tomorrow. You can table it till the weekend if you want to, but make sure that you set a specific time for revisiting the argument. This helps on two levels. The first is that it gives you both time to cool down and let rational thought re-enter into the equation. The second is that by making the appointment and setting a time aside for when you will come back to the disagreement you are avoiding letting bad feelings fester and you are taking proactive control of your lives. What About Sleeping? It's hard to sleep when you are angry, so once you've found a way to set the argument aside then it's important that you find something positive the two of you can do together. Maybe you need to just compliment each other or sit and hold hands and recount the reasons why you love each other. When you take even five minutes to emphasize your positives, you are letting go of the anger and the tension. You are letting it seep out and in a way, you are reconnecting on a more positive level. It may sound silly, but just sitting there, face to face, holding hands and breathing passively either with your eyes closed or your eyes open, gazing at each other - the tension can wash away and while the meat of the argument may still exist - it's not going to be stewing the two of you and your relationship along with it while you are trying to go to sleep. How do you cope with disagreements with your spouse? Related Articles: Our Not So Irreconcilable Differences Learn more about Heather Long  Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments paydayinstallmentloans (5) 25 Nov 2008 11:00 PMDo you find yourself fighting with your spouse over the money he or she spends? Do you frequently spend money yourself, in excess, to spite your spouse because you're angry? While it may seem like money is a serious bone of contention in your marriage, there could be something more to blame. If you are in situation like this, well you should consider going to marriage counselor and seek for advice. Another good way that can help a couple's budget and their marriage, is to consider themselves going to payday installment loans when they are short on funds, this way the risk of misunderstanding between couples will be reduced. Financial issues are one of the leading causes of marital conflict. Sadly, the divorce rate is over fifty percent, and a huge reason of divorce happens to be disagreement over money. Many newlyweds rush to the altar, thinking that marriage is a piece of cake with no sour after taste. Although marriage has its rewards, it will probably be the hardest thing you'll ever do, especially when it comes to finances. Click to read more on Payday Installment Loans. Community Tags anger, managing anger, problem resolution, relationship advice Discuss this article
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