Love the One You're With

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

When things get rough in a marriage, spouses tend to close off and then seek an outlet for their love somewhere else. But how much better would it be if these spouses instead focused on loving the one that they were with, even if they didn't feel like doing so at the time.

Unless you had an arranged marriage, then you have chosen your own spouse. You have chosen the one that you loved. My advice is that after marriage, you love the one you have chosen.

Loving the one you have chosen can be difficult at times. You may be in different places or be dealing with a serious communication issue. It may seem like a lot of work to get things back on track, but who is more worthy of all of your attention than yourself, your spouse and any children from the marriage? I'm not saying that it is always easy, but unless there is some abuse or other seriously impossible impediment, loving the one you have chosen will be well worth it.

Give your spouse the investment of yourself. Imagine that there were no other eligible mates in the world (because in marriage, there shouldn't be anyway). Would you then find a way to love your spouse? If you are really having a hard time loving the one you are with, start with little things. Maybe it is the way he looks in a leather jacket or the way she is a good mother. Perhaps he is loyal to his friends or the maybe she has a great laugh.

During difficult times, it is easy to second guess the choice that you made in a spouse. While people do make mistakes, take a look back at your history together. Can that younger you convince the person you are now that you made the best choice? Chances are that the love is still in their somewhere. It just has to be recognized.

Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.

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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, online content manager, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania in the middle of the woods but close enough to Target and Home Depot.

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