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Living with Engineers: It’s All in the Timing

Another engineer’s wife and I were having a discussion about household chores yesterday.  We were bemoaning the fact that if we want our husbands to do something for us, we either need to tell them right away, or it won’t happen at all. The engineer’s mind is a constant one-way track of processing information.  It’s what makes them so brilliant and efficient: they zero in on a task, giving it their complete focus until it’s done.  I’m almost always thinking about other things while I’m working on something, which is why it can take me longer to achieve something with … Continue reading →

More Hollywood Splits Plus One Marriage

I just want to finish my “In Memoriam 2011” series, but celebs just won’t stop announcing splits. First up is Debra Messing. The “Will and Grace” actress announced she split from hubby of 10 years, actor-television producer Daniel Zelman. The two met while students at New York University and dated for years before making it official in 2000. They have a seven-year-old son, Roman. But, this breakup will be a bit like a Demi/Bruce one in that it seems to be terribly amicable. So much so that the couple have been separated for most of 2011, but still lived together. … Continue reading →

Marriage and Happiness – is it possible?

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While divorce is nothing new in this country, when I read about long-term marriages coming to an end, ala the Gore’s, the Schwarzenegger’s, and the Edward’s, I start to wonder if it is even possible to stay married forever anymore. I hear a lot about the “old days’, but I have a lot of grandparents due to multiple re-marriages. My great-grandparents remained together, but one spouse died long before the other. So maybe those that stay married forever over a real long time period are the anomalies. Maybe now that we live longer and more women are able to support … Continue reading →

Average Length of Marriages

Mary Ann posed an interesting question on a recent article, about the average length of marriages these days. It’s hard to track down exact statistics as there are so many variables, but here are a few things I found will give an idea of the length of the average marriage. In the United Kingdom in 2003, out of 153490 divorces, 40,599 divorces occurred during the first 5-9 years time frame. The next biggest number was between 10-14 years 29,831 and 20,923 in the 15-19 years period. What is interesting is the number that ends up in divorce after only 0-2 … Continue reading →

Work Hours and Marriage

Work life is making it harder for Australian marriage and families. I wonder if it is just as difficult in other countries. The problem seems to be there is not enough flexibility in work hours and arrangements. Despite the introduction of flexi time, job sharing and part time work, statistics show Australian families are not that much better off. Statistics show those with flexible hours in 2006 were sixty percent. In 2009 it was fifty eight percent. Hardly a significant improvement. The lack of choice of days worked has actually increased by one percent. From what I’ve read from time … Continue reading →

Living Together Before Marriage

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Living together before marriage is very common in today’s society. It almost seems to be the expected thing these days. I’ve heard people say its better to try it first and see whether you’re suited. But living together is not as good a test as some people might like to think. In fact statistics show those who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t. I’ve had friends who have lived together before marriage and translated that to a successful marriage. I also know those who have lived together and then, as soon as marriage … Continue reading →

Living with In-Laws?

Living with in-laws is a situation some married couples face. Sometimes it is early in the marriage until a couple gets on their feet financially. Other times it occurs when parents get older and need care. It is something a married couple needs to think seriously about before embarking on it. Mick and I have been in this position three times in our married life, and we have seen several others examples within family and close friends, so we know some of the positives and some of the pitfalls. Some things to consider if you are contemplating this decision: Do … Continue reading →

Bs You Don’t Want in Marriage

Yesterday we looked at some Bs that can sweeten your marriage like honey, today it’s Bs you don’t want. Belittle Never ever belittle your spouse in front of other by making negative or sarcastic comments. Nothing destroys a relationship quicker than having a person belittling their partner to others. You want to build them up not belittle them. Bemoan This one really goes hand in hand with the one before. You don’t want to be always bemoaning your spouse’s faults to them either. Bemoaning faults only tends to magnify them and make them more noticeable. It’s more helpful for you … Continue reading →

What To Teach Your Children About Marriage

What should you be teaching your children about marriage? What is the best way to go about teaching them are two questions to look at. Here are some things I believe we should be teaching our children about marriage. Marriage is not something that should be entered into lightly. Marriage between a man and a woman is a lifetime commitment not just until you get tires of the person or bored or it becomes too hard. Marriage is not for the faint hearted. It needs time, effort selflessness and work to make a great marriage. Don’t go into it thinking … Continue reading →

How Did You Do on the Marriage Quiz?

I hope you’ve all completed the quiz; you and your spouse before checking back to see the scoring and a few of my thoughts. Questions 1-3 The favorite color, movie and song should be basic things you know about your spouse. Give yourself 3 points for each one of these you got right. No extra points if it’s your special song. Scoring for both Q4 and Q5 a. 4 b. 5 c. 3 d. 2 e. 1 You’ll notice that always doesn’t get the top points, because no matter how close you are and how well you know each other, … Continue reading →