Letters of Love: My Three Sons

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

As a parent, one of the most important things we do is demonstrate to our children how to live and how to love. We teach them how to build relationships, maintain their relationships and improve their relationships. We cannot do it all for them and sometimes we're not always the best role models. For one mom, who struggled with the loss of her husband, this has been a conundrum she has faced for years. This is her letter and her story.

My Three Sons

Thank you for saying that the letter I wanted to write was acceptable for your Letters of Love series. I've so enjoyed reading the different letters you've published. While I am not married now, I was widowed almost twelve years ago, I do have a letter of love to write. My letter of love is for my three sons. You see when my David died, they were just 2, 5 and 11. For my older two boys it was very hard to lose their father and for my youngest - the difficulty lay in that he has no real memories of the man he called Da Da.

My husband and I had been married for 14 years when he passed away quite suddenly from a heart attack. I remember racing to the hospital when his co-workers called me. My older boys were at school and I left my youngest with our neighbor. David was already gone when I got there, but they allowed me to see him and to sit with him for a while.

While I sat there, holding his hand and wishing for a way to turn back time - even for just a few hours so that I could say more than just a perfunctory I love you with a quick kiss as he dashed out the door and I rushed to finish getting the boys ready for school. But there was no way to turn back the clock and no matter how much pain I was in, I needed to go home and take care of my children.

I was fortunate, our extended family was right there to embrace us and offer their help and ladies from our Church brought us a meal every night for the next couple of weeks. It was everything I had in me to get through the day - to comfort the sadness and the anger that my older boys felt and try to maintain some sense of normalcy for my youngest.

I started thinking about this the other day because my oldest, my David Jr. is getting married. He asked this very sweet young girl that he's known since high school to marry him. I worry - sometimes, that he's too young to understand the responsibilities and the difficulties that can come hand in hand with marriage. He was just 11 when he lost his father and he's just 23 now. But he's a good man, he's grown strong and he's so much like his father.

He talked to me the night before he was going to propose. He sat down on the sofa and said "Mom, I love her and I want to marry her, but before I ask her, I wanted to ask you to approve. I need you to support me in this Mom. I need you to support her. I want her to be a part of our family, a part of all of us."

When I told him what I was worried about, that I was afraid that marriage wasn't always easy and that there were rocky roads that needed to be traveled. There are wonderful times to be had and wonderful experiences awaiting him, but was he ready for it?

He reached over and he took my hand and he said with such genuine sincerity, "Mom, I know marriage isn't easy. I know that losing Dad wasn't easy on you. But I know how much you loved him, you told us and you showed us every single day he was alive and every single day since. I wish Dad was here too, but you never let him go all the way away from us and I want to honor that. You showed me what a good marriage could be and how being married can make you stronger - I want that. I need you to approve, I need you to still be a strong part of our lives - I can't do this without you and the boys."

How could I do anything but give him my blessing? He asked her to marry him the next day and she said yes. He was so happy and his brothers are happy for him too and I have to admit - I am pleased. I've always wanted a daughter and now I will have one. They've set a wedding date for next year to give her time to finish college.

I loved David and I still do, but I am profoundly grateful for our sons - they are the best of who we were as a couple and through them - I still have my David. So my letter of love is to my three sons for all that they were, all that they have been and all that they will become. Thank you for letting me share.

- Olivia

Letters of Love

You write these letters of love for the ones you love. Do you have a letter of love that you want to write to your spouse? Whether they are here in the states, sleeping next to you night after night or far away in another state or another country. Do you have a letter of love that you would like to share?

Letters of Love are a part of our 14 Days of Romance here in the Marriage Blog, we hope you enjoy them!

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Single Parenting - Being a Good Role Model

Helping your Kids through Involvement

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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