Learning to Read His Feelings

by Lyn Newton | More from this Blogger

04 Jul 2008 03:03 PM

My last couple of articles have been talking about men and women and how they deal with unhappiness.

Women tend to be much more open and expressive about their feelings than men. Men are often more misinterpreted than women.

This misinterpretation can lead to the dissolving of a marriage.

While it should be on the man's priority list to open up more and try to express himself, women can also play a part in better communication.

Women tend to let negative and personal feelings get into the way when reading their spouse. Not all of his actions are personal attacks at you. They may be a result of a number of things including stress from home and work.

The key is to try to pick up on his feelings without them being directly expressed to you (because they likely will not be).

You can learn a lot from his eyes. Look into his eyes and at his face. What feelings do you see? Does he really have to tell you that he is upset or frustrated? In most cases, if given a little attention, you could probably tell just by observing.

Instead of being annoyed by his silence, listen to it. What is it saying to you? Do you hear pain in his quietness?

Women tend to see their husband's lack of expression as an act of selfishness or insensitivity. However he may be feeling just as much pain as you.

So while a man should make his unhappiness known before ten years get by, I cannot believe that a woman could go ten years without really taking a close look at her husband.

Before becoming frustrated and ill with his actions, read them. What feeling is underlying his lack of expression? What can you read from his silence and ill feeling? Is he really calling out for the comfort that you too needed? Perhaps you both long for the same thing, only he is speaking a different language.

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Learn more about Lyn Newton

Lyn is a kindergarten teacher and mommy to a girl and a boy. In her spare time, she enjoys informative and creative writing.

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Kara (21185) 05 Jul 2008 03:10 PM

What do you do when someone is upset about something not related to you that you can't change? How do you make him feel better?

Lyn Newton (3966) 05 Jul 2008 05:39 PM

I think that the key is not to try to change things but instead just make sure that he knows he has your support and love. Try to be understanding and patient if he has a hard time. Don't force things but there when you are needed. Some things we can't do anything about such as death, losing a job, etc. We just have to be the prayer and support system for our husbands.