It Might just be the Newlywed Blues

by Sherry Holetzky | More from this Blogger

18 Mar 2007 09:51 AM

Now that the honeymoon is over and life has turned into a steadier routine, you may find that you or your spouse is feeling a little "let down." Maybe both of you are experiencing it. Once all the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon trip has passed and life begins to settle down, many spouses begin to feel a bit depressed.

It's similar to how many people feel after Christmas is over. After weeks or months of build up, the planning, the preparations, the thrill of it all seems to be over too quickly. Most people are able to adjust and get back into their daily routines, but it may be a little different for some people, and it's often different with marriage.

A new marriage should be viewed as an opportunity, not only to continue getting to know each other and to build a life together, but to create more memorable moments to cherish along with memories of the wedding. What frequently happens instead is that people feel a sense of disappointment or even a sense of loss and find themselves asking, "Why did I get married again?" Some people even find that they were more in love with the concept of marriage and with that dream wedding than they are with their spouses.

Sadly, quite a few couples will give up within the first year of marriage. For some, it may take two years, but it's really not difficult to tell which couples will have problems in this timeframe. These problems usually manifest within a couple of months after the wedding. The sense of having given up is generally noticeable.

If you're experiencing a sense of disappointment early in your marriage, try to recognize that it may well be a normal sense of let down. Understand that it's time to settle into your life together and work to build a happy and lasting marriage. Realize that life isn't always going to be filled with picture perfect moments but also remind yourself that even the tough times aren't as bad as they would be if you didn't have someone you love and trust beside you.

Most of all, try to make every day together count. We don't usually give up on other things so quickly, even when faced with challenges. A year really isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things and we owe to ourselves and to our spouses to work through that critical time of adjustment.

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Learn more about Sherry Holetzky

Sherry Holetzky is a work at home mom and freelance writer. Married to her best friend, Sherry and her husband are raising their family in a quiet rural setting in the beautiful Ozark Mountains.

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