Is Jealousy eating you Alive?

by Ariala | More from this Blogger

05 Jan 2006 11:56 AM

What's worse, being jealous or being the victim of a jealous spouse? Neither one are fun. If you've experienced either, then you know just how helpless and angry you feel in either case.

The green-eyed monster rears its ugly head when a person feels threatened or feels like he or she isn't getting enough attention. Some people are the "jealous type" and don't need an excuse to experience a bout of jealousy. Usually this is due to self-esteem or control issues. Sometimes it's uncontrollable and makes the jealous person feel helpless and abandoned.

If you experience jealousy, you're likely to be quite possessive over your spouse. This may translate into them thinking you don't trust them, or that you are trying to control everything they do. Such scenarios lead to resentment and rebellion in the victim of jealousy. He or she may assert themselves, and in so doing, push you away. What they're actually trying to do is assert their rights, and need for independence, without constant watch and suspicion.

A little jealousy might be cute and make a person feel wanted, but most jealousy is destructive and frustrating for a person to contend with. The best way to deal with a jealous spouse is to confront them about how they make you feel. Love is not jealous and possessive. True love thinks about what's best for the other person, not about what's best for oneself.

If you happen to be the jealous one, express to your spouse what causes these feelings. Be as honest as possible. Maybe it has to do with past relationships or behaviors you saw displayed in your parents when you were a child? Perhaps you're feeling insecure because of your own self-image. Discuss these issues openly with your spouse. It's most likely they'll understand and avoid situations that will cause any unnecessary jealousy to arise in you.

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