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Infidelity: Insult and Injury

by Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger

18 Apr 2008 12:06 PM

In Does an STD Make the Crime of an Affair Even Worse?, I pondered just that. As deedee1231 pointed out, it probably doesn't make it worse, it just adds insult to injury.

I believe that. Yet when I wrote that article I didn't think beyond an STD as a consequence of an affair that might add insult to injury. But then the whole prostitution scandal with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer happened.

Except, before I could ponder how he not only embarrassed himself but his poor wife and that's certainly a huge insult too, my mom fell sick. I didn't have time to write my musings on all this. Until now.

Paid for Services Rendered

How would you feel if you found out your husband had paid to have sex with someone? What would be your first question? Would you want to know what she had looked like? How old she was? What they had done and where they had done it? How he had procured her services? How much he spent?

In my case, the first thing I'd want to know would be how much Wayne spent. I'd be completely perplexed that he'd paid for sex because he's about as frugal as they come. He rarely pays full price for anything so I'd be most curious to know if he'd paid full price for her, or if he'd nickel and dimed some kind of discount.

I have to admit, finding out he'd bought sex would irk me as much as learning he'd had an emotional affair with someone.

Bringing Up Baby

But what if the affair resulted in the other woman getting pregnant? Or, if a wife was being unfaithful, getting pregnant by the other man? What happens then? How do you recover from something like that? Would you accept the baby? Support your husband being involved in it's life? (In the case of the other woman getting pregnant.) For husbands whose wives have done them wrong, would you support her both financially and emotionally through the pregnancy? If the other man wanted to be a father to the child, could you tolerate your wife's continued connection to him?

This scenario makes for great soap opera storylines and dramatic daytime talk show appearances, but it's also stuff real people have to deal with every day. But how do they do it? Or don't they? Is this their breaking point that makes them walk away from it all?

Would any of them be yours?

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Coping with an Unfaithful Spouse

Ten Signs that Your Spouse May Be Cheating

 
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Learn more about Courtney Mroch
PetScribe`s avatar

Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k.

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User Comments

Samual (11722) 18 Apr 2008 12:24 PM

If my husband had an affair or one night stand which resulted in a child and we were still together, I would never do anything that would be anti to the child, just because they were born into a poor circumstance doesn't give anyone the right to treat them as a lesser. That child may not be part of me, but it's part of him not matter who the mother is or how that child was concieved. If the best thing was for the child to live with us, then he/she would, if it was best that he/she lived with mum then that would happen and they would always be welcome in our home.

Courtney Mroch (9169) 21 Apr 2008 03:39 PM

Outstanding insights, Samual. Thanks so much for sharing.

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