I Don't Think I'd Be Good at Divorceby Lyn Newton | More from this Blogger 22 Nov 2007 10:44 PM Thankfully I have only been married one time and hopefully will only ever be married one time. However, strangely, divorced and remarried people intrigue me, especially if children are involved. I see many different couples living in different divorced situations. I know divorced couples that have no contact with one another as if the other person just vanished. I cannot imagine having the intimacy and closeness that I share with my husband and then just all of a sudden not seeing him again. Of course in these marriages, I suppose the closeness stopped well before the divorce. I then know divorced couples that act like the best of friends. They talk and can be seen at their children's sporting events sitting together. They come in to parent teacher conferences together and because of this relationship often many people question if they are not back together It totally amazes me at how some divorced couples can communicate and talk and be friends. While I do believe that this a healthy divorced relationship and great for the children, I honestly do not think that I could do it. I cannot imagine the awkwardness of running into my ex spouse and his new wife at a store or event. Even more I do not think that I could be civil to a lady that my children call step-mom. I could never give in to someone else taking care of them in that way. I think the main difference between these people and me is that I am still in love with my husband and could not imagine my life without him. The women described above are likely numb to feelings for their ex husbands and have settled to the fact that they had to or would be better off if they could just move on. Learn more about Lyn Newton  Lyn is a kindergarten teacher and mommy to a girl and a boy. In her spare time, she enjoys informative and creative writing. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments Flower1975 (26) 02 Apr 2008 11:25 AMLyn, I think your musings are pretty accurate... I think a lot of divorced men and women get to a position where they can't 'be' together... and they feel they would rather face the 'second wife', and all the other difficulties than to spend any more time with their husband / wife. ... however I also wonder how many of those who go through divorce actually regret it, wish they could have done something different to get through it together... ... as a 'second' I feel 'second' best sometimes, like there will always be the one who was there first, loved first, first child, ... and the same intimacy we share... and is there still a spark there when they see each other? After sharing all those intimacies is it still easy to be attracted to their ex? ... life as a 'second' isn't that easy. Without being bitter towards the first wife, ... something didn't work, their husband became single again and the second one came along and fell in love... Sometimes it feels as if we're the ones who get the blame for their marriage splitting up even if we were nowhere to be found at the time. I think no one is good at divorce... and I think most people would start off in their marriage thinking exactly the same as you! Keep up whatever it is you are doing to maintain your marriage... and you'll only ever need to wonder! :) Discuss this article
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