How to Save Marriage After an Affair

You’re spouse cheated on you and now he says he wants to repair the damage he’s done to the marriage. This doesn’t make much sense to you but you’re willing to give it a try for the sake of your family. Understanding how to save your marriage after an affair is crucial to your recovery from infidelity. Step #1: Grieve the Loss of Your Old Marriage Your marriage before the affair has died. Just like mourning the death of a loved one, you must grieve the passing of a marriage you once knew and loved. Trying to sweep the affair … Continue reading

Signs Your Husband’s Having an Affair…

…with a DVR. Before I list the symptoms, let me explain how I got us into this mess. Because it was me who agreed to bring this third party into our marriage. Oh yes, make no mistake about it. I purposely introduced him to this vixen. Don’t get me wrong. I wanted it just as bad as he did and I’m smitten with it too, but Wayne is really head over heals. The surefire signs he’s gaga for the DVR: 1. He set it up the moment he came home. (To save us money, I went to pick it up … Continue reading

Marriage in Trouble? Seek Help

We recently discussed that, although allowed, divorce is to be avoided whenever possible. Still, it is a fact of life that marriages do hit roadblocks, some big and some small. Maybe your wife spends too much money; maybe your husband spends too much time with his friends. Maybe he isn’t affectionate enough, maybe she’s too needy. Or maybe, the problems are more serious: infidelity, drug or alcohol use, mental or physical abuse. What’s a Muslim family to do? In traditional Muslim countries, the couple would sit down with the elders of the family. The husband, the wife, a representative from … Continue reading

A Ban on Divorce?

I don’t usually get involved in politics, but recently Wisconsin representative, Don Pridemore, addressed something that I just cannot ignore. He firmly believes that divorce should not ever be an option, even if you are being abused. He claims that if you think about the reason you got married in the first place, essentially that should solve all of your marital problems. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very pro-marriage. Divorce is never something to take lightly, it certainly isn’t for everyone, but for many of us, it was the right thing. People have their agency. They make choices … Continue reading

Infidelity in the Media

I was watching TV with my husband the other night and I was so upset over all the mentions of infidelity in the matter of only a few minutes. We were watching The Office and if you watch this show, you know that Jim is going on the business trip to Florida with everyone and so is the intern. Of course, you see her on the phone with someone saying that his relationship with Pam isn’t going well, even though they just had a new baby, and that she believes they will hook up on the trip. Then there is … Continue reading

Should You Stay or Should You Go When He Cheats

If you just found out your husband is cheating you may wonder what in the world you are going to do now. He might tell you that he doesn’t want to lose you and that he wishes he had never done it, but how do you know for sure? You don’t want to be one of those women who stays with their husband while he continues to cheat but at the same time, what if he really does mean it and won’t ever cheat on you again? You don’t want to walk away from a marriage that you’ve been faithful … Continue reading

Get Off the Infidelity Roller Coaster

When your spouse is cheating on you, it can see as though you are going up and down and all around with his affair. At one moment he wants to leave and then he wants to stay. He doesn’t know whether he is coming or going and you don’t either. This roller coaster type of situation can leave you exhausted and emotional numb. You don’t know whether you should be depressed, excited at the prospect that he’ll come back to you, or ready to just move on. How to Deal with the Roller coaster To cope with the roller coaster … Continue reading

Sue Your Husband’s Mistress

The Huffington Post published an article interviewing a lawyer who says that it’s possible to sue your husband’s mistress. The charge is alienation of affection and the punishment can be a hefty sum of money. Focus on Who Hurt You This brings me to think about whether this should be in place. I can see why a scorned wife wants to sue the mistress. Many mistresses are conniving and will do whatever it takes to get the man they want. Sometimes, it’s easier to blame someone else for your husband’s affair than him especially when trying to find out why … Continue reading

Forever Single

So much of my identity is tangled up with being a single mom, I really can’t imagine being married again. When I was first divorced I dreamed of the day that I would meet someone and finally have my happily ever after. I dated, a lot, I was determined to find my Mr. Right and get on with the rest of my life. Well, here we are almost nine years later and Mr. Right has not shown himself. Now I have a different perspective and wonder if I will ever get married again. There are many reasons people get married, … Continue reading

The Three A’s

Divorce is never something to take lightly. In fact, I once had a professor who said there are only three valid reasons to get divorced; she called them the three A’s. It hit me so strongly that I have never forgotten it. Marriage is tough, but I am a firm believer that ALMOST anything can be worked out if both of you are putting forth the effort to make it work. Not every day is going to be a happy one, but in the end, most things can be recovered from if you are willing to put in the work. … Continue reading