How to Prevent Money Matters from Hurting Your Marriage

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

26 Feb 2009 12:15 PM

Money and financial issues are one of the leading causes of conflict leading to divorce in modern marriages. Differences of opinion on what to do with money, how to save and how to spend can make you feel as though you are constantly butting heads with your spouse.

If you and your spouse agree on all money issues then congratulations. You are a rare pair.

Most couples have different attitudes toward money as individuals. Even couples who are have similar values (savers, let's say) can vary a bit within their attitudes (one likes to save a little bit more than the other, for example). And even savers can be disorganized.

Dave Ramsey, the financial guru, says that most couples consist of one nerd and one free spirit. The nerd is the one who really has his or her handle on financial matters. This is the person who likes to be more organized about where the money is going. The free spirit on the other hand is too busy living life to care about such things. Sometimes it can be downright difficult for these two people to come together to talk about finances.

Ramsey recommends that couples schedule a weekly budget meeting (What was your immediate reaction to this advice? Did you nod your head or cringe? This may tell you whether you are the nerd or the free spirit, if you didn't know already.) The meeting shouldn't be any longer than 17 minutes, the ideal time to stay focused on financial goals without getting frustrated.

When discussing money matters, it is easy to get frustrated and even defensive. If you complain about how your spouse spent $200 on skis, he might point out that your daughter doesn't need 12 pairs of shoes at the age of four. But you want to try to get past all of that and just agree on mutual financial goals and a budget. Focus on working together while understanding each other to avoid hurting your marriage.

Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.

Related Articles:

How to Get Your Finances in Control

Marriage and Money: Resenting Your Spouse

Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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