How to Argue with Integrity

Whenever I hear couples brag that they never argue I’m actually not impressed. First of all, I find it hard to believe but even if it is true, I actually don’t think that is healthy. We all have to eventually address difficult issues in our lives. Now of course I’m not saying that you should be having some good knock-down, drag-it-out fights. However I do believe you can argue with integrity. Think about what the word integrity means. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary it means a “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.” I really like the … Continue reading

Aetna Covers Woman’s Mammogram After All

Typically, a health insurance policy will cover the cost of a mammogram. Aetna refused to cover the cost of Beth Scott’s mammogram because she was born male and changed her sex to female. After a long appeal, Aetna has agreed to cover her mammogram after all. Beth Scott is 44 years old. She gets her health insurance through her employer, like many Americans do. She has worked for eleven years as a data integrity specialist for a high-tech company. Her doctor recommended that she get a mammogram, because of her age. This should have been a procedure that was automatically … Continue reading

Pick Your Battles

I’m a firm believer and I have blogged about picking your battles when it comes to raising teenagers. But I think the same can be said about a marriage. In fact, it seems that we tend to be a bit more nit-picky in our marriages than in any other relationship. Slight irritations can be made into huge deals. Those things we knew about our spouse when we married them suddenly becomes impossible to live with another day. But many of those irritations and frustrations we may experience in a marriage are just not worth the battle. You know the old … Continue reading

Is It Really ALL Bad?

Have you ever reached that point in marriage where it seems like everything is bad? Things just aren’t going well or they aren’t going the way you had expected. Take the time to ask yourself…is it really ALL bad? Here is what tends to happen in these situations. We are so focused on the “bad” we fail to see the good. I have been there…many times. Throughout the course of 20 years of marriage, there have been ups and there have been downs. What I especially remember in my earlier years of marriage is that thinking during the downs it … Continue reading

Different Isn’t Wrong

For several weeks my husband and I have been attending a class based on a book called, “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. The basis of his teaching is the importance of the wife respecting her husband and the husband loving his wife. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the wife shouldn’t love the husband or the husband respect the wife, but he talks about how men and women differ in their relationships. One of the things he repeats over and over again in the video series we are watching is that different isn’t wrong. I think that’s an important … Continue reading

Saving a Marriage

It seems like everywhere I turn lately, there are marriage problems…serious ones. Couples that you would never imagine considering divorce seem to be on that path. I recently met with a woman who had filed for divorce but then stopped it. She is willing, although very reluctantly, to give her husband a chance to work on his issues. They are serious, difficult issues. My heart feels for her. It is painful to see her pain. It would be easy for me to say, “Get out while you can.” But I tend to be of the mindset that you should first … Continue reading

Preventing Arguments About Money

It is a well known fact that money is a common cause of arguments for couples. Sometimes the best way to avoid money arguments with your significant other is to talk about finances as freely as you talk about everything else. Even if money is tight and you are having trouble making ends meet, talking openly about your finances just might prevent a major blow-up later on. If a couple rarely discusses finances, each may think that the other knows what is going on with the family finances. Each person may also think that the other person knows what the … Continue reading

Waffles and Spaghetti

Whenever I think about the differences between men and women, I think of waffles and spaghetti. Why? Because of a class I attended several years ago that has always stuck with me. This class was based on a book called “Men Are Like Waffles—Women Are Like Spaghetti.” I have never actually read the book but the concepts taught in this class were life-changing for me. Men are like waffles because they put things into boxes. There is a separate box for every area of their lives. Think of a waffle and picture all those little squares. Men compartmentalize things. Work … Continue reading

In Sickness and in Health

I have really been thinking about a blog that Michele Cheplic wrote a week ago, “Adding Insult to Injury.” It’s a sad story about a woman who gave birth to triplets but due to a medical error, suffered brain damage. She ended up being paralyzed and unable to speak or see. The “insult” that has been added to her injury is that her husband divorced her shortly after she gave birth to the children and was now refusing to allow the children to visit her. All I could think about was, “What ever happened to marriage vows?” Whatever happened to … Continue reading

Dating Your Spouse

Most of us can remember the very first date we had with our husband. I know I do. I will never forget my “Bangladesh” pants that I wore. At least that’s what my husband used to call them. I had these big, red-framed glasses and big hair (remember the perm?) Well, I guess for that time period I looked kind of cute. We went to see Willy Porter play at a bar/restaurant. Afterwards we walked around the East side of Milwaukee and eventually had our first kiss. From that point on, we couldn’t wait for the next date. Why? Because … Continue reading