Search Results for: blog how much do you depend on your spouse

How to Cope with an Empty Nest

Your “baby” has grown up, started college, and moved away to live in a dorm or apartment. This experience can leave parents with a mix of strong emotions. It also requires adjustments in how you and your college student relate to each other, and alters what your day-to-day life is like. Here are some ways to cope with an Empty Nest. Allow Yourself to Feel Whatever Emotions Appear A national survey done in 2013 by Clark University of over 1,000 parents found that 84% missed their kids once they moved out. 60% of parents said they were glad to have … Continue reading →

Navigating Alone Time

How well do you do on your own without your spouse?  I certainly don’t need Jonathan to look after me, and I could support myself without him, but that’s not what I’m talking about.  What I mean is: if there are times that your spouse is away from home from an extended period of time, how do you feel about it? I’ve never liked living alone.  If I wasn’t married, I would prefer having a roommate to living by myself.  I spent the summer before I got married living on my own, and it was unpleasant.  So when Jon goes … Continue reading →

Divorce: A Bad Word

I will never forget when my children were younger and a neighbor child rang my doorbell to inform me that my son (who was about 7 years old at the time) had said a “bad” word.  “Really?” I responded.  “What did he say?” You could tell this kid was proud of himself, sure that after he told me, my son would be getting into some really big trouble.  Loudly he declared, “He said,” but then he barely whispered, “hell.”  I had to bend over to hear the word. Well as it turned out my son was apparently relaying a message … Continue reading →

The Difference Between Friendship and Marriage

Sometimes I wonder what the difference is between friendship and marriage.  Not casual friendship, or even good friendship, but really-close, best-friends, rely-on-each-other-for-everything friendship.  If we look to the media for answers, it seems to imply that the only difference is physical desire.  In movies and television, the only or at least primary distinguishable change in the relationship between two characters that are best friends, and then become something more, is that their relationship adds a sexual element. Those are usually my favorite types of stories (as opposed to ones where the characters aren’t friends but jump right to dating), only … Continue reading →

Commonsense Ways to a Happier Marriage

You will often hear about “secrets” to a happy marriage.  Personally, I don’t believe there is anything secret about having a happy marriage. Most of what it takes is well known.  In other words, we know what to do to have a happier marriage.  The key is choosing to do those things. So instead, let’s look at some old-fashioned commonsense ways to keep the marriage happy.  We start with the understanding that your spouse will never be perfect. Now most of us probably don’t really think that our spouse should be perfect.  Yet we place expectations that are oftentimes unrealistic.  … Continue reading →

What Are Your Deal Breakers?

As you find yourself venturing out into the dating world again, it is crucial that you decide what your deal breakers are so that you don’t end up in another bad marriage. We all have certain things we want in a spouse. If you’re like most women you’ve been making that list from the time you were a little girl. You dreamed of how wonderful your life would be after Prince Charming came rushing in to sweep you off your feet. Then you found out Prince Charming wasn’t quite as charming as you thought and found yourself single again, but … Continue reading →

Not Always Joined at the Hip

Jon and I started dating in college, and we were far from the only ones in our social circles to do so. Some of the others would make fun of us, giving us couples’ names, like the media does for dating celebrities (our name was Jangela). It never really bothered me, except for one potential interpretation: was there some truth in the fact that I didn’t do much without Jon? Looking back, I think that I had enough friends and enough things going on in my college life that were separate from my boyfriend. But I could see how it … Continue reading →

How to Spare Your Child the Pain of Divorce

Norwegian researchers believe they know how to prevent the pains of divorce from being inflicted on innocent children. According to a new study entitled “Equality in the Home,” parents who share housework duties are 50 percent more likely to get divorced than couples where the woman does most of the chores. In other words, the more housework the man does, the higher the divorce rate. A part of me died typing that sentence. The rest of me is trying to swallow the vomit that’s pooled in my mouth. Basically, the study is saying that if you are a stressed out … Continue reading →

Does Marriage Really Change?

It wasn’t that long ago I was having a conversation with a woman who has been married for less than a year. We got on the topic of how marriage changes, something she didn’t quite believe. I remember being there. You think it will always be full of passion and you will always put each other’s needs first. Everything your spouse does is cute. Well here is the reality. It won’t always be full of passion because sometimes you will be exhausted at the end of a long day. You won’t always put your spouse’s needs first, especially when the … Continue reading →

The Many Benefits of Walking

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I decided to take a walk by the lakefront in our hometown of Milwaukee. The reason had less to do with exercise and more about getting out of the house. We had just experienced our firstborn child leaving the home. He left for basic training in Texas with the Air Force. We were left with a lot of mixed feelings. Dealing with our emotions was difficult. At times we were even at odds with each other, which is why my husband suggested a walk by the lake. For some reason being away … Continue reading →