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How Does Having Children Affect Friendships?

Sometimes, I worry about what having kids will do to my already nonexistent social life. I’m not whining about not being able to go out and have fun anymore. That’s just not my thing. I’m a stay-in, watch-movies, read-books, play-video-games kind-of-person. My closest friends are those who like to do the same thing. What I’m worried about is growing further apart from the friends that I do have. A lot has already been written about how important it is to preserve one’s friendships outside of our marriage. We may have (hopefully) married our best friend, or at least one of … Continue reading →

Other Ways Children’s Behavior Can Affect a Marriage.

Yesterday we looked at some ways children’s behavior can affect and undermine a marriage. Here is another way. Some children, by their anti social behavior, affect friendships and marriages. Take this example, of a couple I know who invited another couple and their child over for dinner one evening. After dinner, the child who may have been hyperactive or maybe had a problem like ADHD started to swing on a tall piece of furniture which threatened to topple over. If it did it could have caused serious injury to the child and also have caused damage to the furniture and … Continue reading →

Generational Differences in Marriage Dynamics: Cooking

Due to all of my volunteering, I spend a lot of time each week with people who are more in my parents’ generation than mine. That’s normal enough; once we graduate and enter the work force, our pool of peers naturally expands beyond our age group. I have no problem with this most of the time, but once in a while I feel our generational difference, and that usually relates to our views on marriage. My friends don’t have extremely different views on marriage than me; they’re certainly not the types who think their husbands rule the roost. I don’t … Continue reading →

Laid-Back Anniversaries

It’s our fourth anniversary today. I know that’s not really a milestone (insofar as any year’s anniversary is one); that’ll come next year, with our fifth. But I don’t see us doing anything bigger next year than we’ll do this year. Like with everything else, Jon and I don’t make that big of a deal of our anniversary. We don’t even get each other gifts. That’s something we stopped doing before we were even married. The first year or two we were dating we got each other anniversary presents, but that ceased by the time we graduated from college. I … Continue reading →

Sleeping in Separate Beds: You’re Not Alone

Our culture believes that couples who sleep in separate beds are either experiencing or inviting problems in their marriage. Because I’m a light sleeper, I’m a firm believer that couples should be free to sleep separately if necessary. Jon and I almost always sleep together, but if one of us is restless we move to another bed, to keep that person from being woken up. I know that sleeping in the same bed improves intimacy. Once kids are part of the equation alone time between couples is scarce, and time in bed together, even if it’s just the process of … Continue reading →

Making Good Friends

Friends can have an enormous influence in our children’s lives. These friendships can be for the good or have a detrimental effect upon our child. So as parents it is important that we help our children cultivate and maintain good friends. Good friends are invaluable, especially for teenagers. You might wonder how can you help your child choose good friends. Read on for some ideas. Talk about good friends. Help your child make a list of characteristics that a good friend has. Encourage them to be a good friend as well. This way they are more likely to attract good … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-More Responding

In the last Blog, we discussed the fact that adoptive parents need to Plan on Responding to our child’s needs a bit more conscientiously especially during the first several months after becoming a member of the family. This entry lists some of the ways Adoptive parents might respond to the Arousal-Relaxation Cycle: Become in tune with how the child is feeling physically, pay attention and respond affectionately and attentively when they are sick. Respond quickly when they are hurt and do the whole “boo-boo” kiss routine even for minor injuries. Demonstrate compassion and let your child know that you don’t … Continue reading →