Got a Case of the Jitters?

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

09 May 2006 10:30 AM

You probably remember the feeling from your own wedding or maybe you are experiencing them now. We've all had that feeling - the fluttering in the stomach, the second-guessing, the what ifs and the oh my goodness - what am I doing? These sensations have been felt by brides and grooms for millennia.

The first thing to remember about the jitters is that they are perfectly normal. We get jitters about everything from a major purchase to a college enrollment to having a child to a child's first day at school to a first date to the day we say I do. It's normal to wonder, to feel uncertain and to feel nervous. You're about to take a big step and all the preparation in the world doesn't prepare you for those last crucial hours or minutes leading up to taking the plunge.

The second thing to remember is that you said yes to your partner in the first place. You said yes by proposing or by accepting the proposal. So when you feel the jitters coming on, you should remember all the reasons why you said yes in the first place. You should acknowledge the feelings you have, but you should also embrace what you know - that you love this person, that you were committing yourself when you said yes - the marriage ceremony - however breathtaking and fabulous - is merely an extension of that first I do.

But if you need some tips for how to cope with your jitters, here a few methods those brides, grooms, bridesmaids, best men and parents have done through the years to help cope with the jitters.

• Get away from a crowded place - brides are often provided with a quiet place to wait the start of the ceremony and grooms have a similar option - take advantage of it. Go to a quiet place and let your mind relax. Take a best friend or a parent with you, but only if their presence is soothing. Sometimes, just a few minutes to catch our breath are all we really need.
• Let your mind go back to the moment when you knew you loved your soon to be husband or wife. For some of us it is a fiery moment of clarity, for others it is the culmination of a slowly dawning realization for still others it can simply be waking up one morning to realize that you have been in love for some time - remembering that moment can not only quiet the jitters, but flood you with warmth and affection and anticipation - all of which are vital on a wedding day.
• Think about the role models that you have known - the long successful relationships and marriages. While many of us are from a generation of divorce, we still knew plenty of successful marriages.
• If you have someone who can do a lot of the doubting for you - you know this type of person - they are Mr. Or Ms. Negative - they can find something wrong with happiest of times - get away from them!
• In the age of cell phones, call your intended if you are not planning to see each other before the ceremony. Often the sound of their voice will bring you a wealth of comfort and calm the jitters in a way nothing else can.
• Finally, remember - whether you have the long walk up the aisle or you are standing at the end waiting for the bride to reach you --- what you will both find when you get there is each other.

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Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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