Search Results for: blog get an a in marriage

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Lowering Expectations in a Marriage

There is a fine line between learning to lower your expectations in a marriage and when to fight for what’s “right.”  Keep in mind that what’s considered right is all about perspective. Your right might not be my right…just as your spouse’s right might not be your right. One of the ways I try to gauge my “rights” is by how critical the issue really is; not how important it should be or I would like it to be.  But looking at it in a realistic and selfless manner. That isn’t easy, believe me.  It requires stepping back from the … Continue reading →

Get Creative with Valentine’s Layouts

Love Day has come and gone, though the memories will linger for a lifetime, especially if you scored a serious sparkler and a marriage proposal on February 14th.  Even if your sweetie didn’t get down on one knee this Valentine’s, you shouldn’t let the holiday go by without crafting at least a single page layout detailing the day’s highlights.  However, rather than employing the same ol’ trite scrapbooking techniques, consider getting a little creative with the following ideas: Choose a Theme:  So, you didn’t get the five-carat diamond tennis bracelet you had your heart set on for Valentine’s Day.  Surely, … Continue reading →

When the Other Kids Get More

How can you deal with the question of why other kids got more “stuff” for Christmas? This article may help. While I think our kids are blessed beyond what my husband and I could have imagined having when we were young, the fact is that their acquisitions probably don’t measure up in number or value to most of their peers. Partially this is because of the area in which we live, a semi-affluent area where parents can and do provide things for their kids that we cannot even if we wanted to do so. So, I am familiar with what … Continue reading →

Building a Marriage on Dependency and Independence

I was recently reading an article that stated the key to a happy marriage was living separate lives.  That this is how you feel validated as an individual. What’s interesting about this is that in order to feel validated, you need to feel important and acknowledged.  That generally doesn’t come from within.  Sure, it should be a part of feeling validated as a person.  But since we are humans, we crave receiving this from others. Isn’t that where a spouse comes in? Don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that you need to be so dependent on your mate … Continue reading →

Commonsense Ways to a Happier Marriage

You will often hear about “secrets” to a happy marriage.  Personally, I don’t believe there is anything secret about having a happy marriage. Most of what it takes is well known.  In other words, we know what to do to have a happier marriage.  The key is choosing to do those things. So instead, let’s look at some old-fashioned commonsense ways to keep the marriage happy.  We start with the understanding that your spouse will never be perfect. Now most of us probably don’t really think that our spouse should be perfect.  Yet we place expectations that are oftentimes unrealistic.  … Continue reading →

Learning Marriage from Your Parents

I was raised with somewhat progressive views on marriage.  It feels strange to even be typing that, and it’s certainly nothing I ever thought growing up.  I know that on the overall spectrum of views on marriage, the ideals with which I was raised would only be in the middle, and probably closer to the conservative side of the middle.  But it’s still so surprising to me how many people aren’t even that far. I’ve already shared my story about my college roommate.   The reason she and her boyfriend didn’t talk for years about division of labor in the household, … Continue reading →

Marriage Is a Gem

If you could describe the whole of marriage, how would you do that?  I think I would describe it as a gem, one that is meant to be polished and taken care of. But I would also describe it as having imperfections.  Nothing in this world is really perfect, is it?  You look close enough; you can usually find a flaw.  The same is true in marriage. Yet when you take a step back, looking past the imperfections and flaws, you see nothing but a beautiful treasure.  Women oftentimes will hold their hand at a distance, as they admire the … Continue reading →

Generational Differences in Marriage Dynamics: Cooking

Due to all of my volunteering, I spend a lot of time each week with people who are more in my parents’ generation than mine. That’s normal enough; once we graduate and enter the work force, our pool of peers naturally expands beyond our age group. I have no problem with this most of the time, but once in a while I feel our generational difference, and that usually relates to our views on marriage. My friends don’t have extremely different views on marriage than me; they’re certainly not the types who think their husbands rule the roost. I don’t … Continue reading →

Why Marriage Keeps Your Brain Healthy

The next time your spouse drives you absolutely crazy, keep in mind that he, or she, is probably helping to keep your brain healthy. That is because the challenges that our spouses give us, along with the love and support, may actually be protecting our brains. In fact, according to a recent study, sharing a life with another person means that we are less likely to develop cognitive impairment than single people who are not married. The study took place in Scandinavia and included 1,400 men and women. Married people are simply less likely to develop dementia than single people. … Continue reading →