How Much Forgiveness Should We Model?

As role models for our kids, we parents have tall orders—we have to set an example and model desirable character traits and behaviors, but we also have to allow for some flaws and humanity. One of the things I know that single parents can model for our kids is forgiveness—such an important life lesson. We might start to wonder, however, how MUCH forgiveness we should model and when our forgiveness lessons have crossed over into co-dependency? I think about forgiveness in two pieces—there are the little, daily constant infractions that we need to learn how to let go of and … Continue reading

Forgiveness in the Parent-Child Relationship

When we think of that great, ongoing life lesson with forgiveness, we may think of personal relationships with partners and spouses, friends, and family–but we don’t often think of our relationship with our young children. But, forgiveness IS an ongoing issue in parenting and one more place where we (both parents and children) get to wrestle with this difficult task… The other day, I wrote about trust and how parents and children wrestle with trust issues in the growing up years–but I think that learning how to let go and forgive is such a big thing–and one where many families … Continue reading

A Week at Royal Family Kids’ Camp Part 2

You can read the first part of this blog here. *All children’s names have been changed. Kevin, who is referred to often, is my husband who also served with me at Royal Family Kids’ Camps. Wednesday Night We had some visitors while we slept last night. I woke up to go to the bathroom with one of the girls and staring at me was a big fat raccoon! I screamed which in turn caused my camper to scream and become hysterical. Before I could count to three to get my bearings about me, the whole cabin was awake and screaming. … Continue reading

Forgiveness

How do you forgive after you have been hurt, humiliated, violated, mocked or abandoned? What does forgiveness mean to you? The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word “forgive”: 1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon. 2. To renounce anger or resentment against. 3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example). When we do not forgive I believe we actually keep ourselves in bondage to that person who has offended us. To forgive does not mean to forget. It does not mean that we don’t use caution with that person or that we trust them. What … Continue reading

Forgive & Forget

One of the hardest parts of disagreeing with your spouse is that it’s not always easy to forgive transgressions whether they are real or imagined. Yet, even more difficult than forgiving a transgression is forgetting one. Now bear with me, because the old saying goes fool me once, shame on you — fool me twice, shame on me – we all tend to get a little gun shy. However, if love and passion are going to survive in your marriage you have to learn how to wipe the slate clean, forgive each other and forget. While you do not necessarily … Continue reading

Marriage & Love; Love & Marriage

Sometimes we forget that love and marriage both take work. When we are engaged to be married and planning our wedding ceremony, we think the sky is the limit. We know if we aim for the moon, even if we miss – we’ll still be among the stars. We understand, above all else, that we love each other. This is a thought that we need to remember, because that love can sustain us in the best of times and the worst of times. The following is a bit of a personal glimpse, but it was the best way I knew … Continue reading

Grandmother Bullied on School Bus

Oh the lessons you can learn on a school bus. Lesson #1: Don’t bully an innocent grandmother/bus monitor, and then smirk as someone shoots video of you in the act. Because… Lesson #2: The chances of said video going viral are astronomical and… Lesson #3: The chances of said grandmother having the last laugh are even greater. Just ask Karen Klein. The 68-year-old grandmother from upstate New York has endured plenty of pain in her life, including the death of her beloved husband and the tragic loss of her son to suicide. However, it took a bus full of tweenage … Continue reading

Resolving Conflict in Marriage – Part 3

Following on from last week’s articles about resolving conflict in marriage, these are also good guidelines to follow. Once you have sat down and talked thought the situation, move on. Practice forgetfulness. Every time negative thoughts come back to you, practice putting them away by thinking about good qualities of your spouse and re-enforcing the idea that the problems are over and you have a clean slate. Don’t keep harping back to what has already gone on before and keeping score of wrongs and hurts. The ability to put aside hurts and get along with others is a sign of … Continue reading

Protecting Your Marriage

Most people don’t think twice about insuring their home or car or things that are valuable. They don’t think twice about installing security measures like screens and alarms. But what about protecting your marriage? What can you and I do to protect our marriages? Here are some suggestions. And no, these aren’t all mine. Many came from families.com members. Respect and being careful about the way we talk to our spouse. It was interesting to see how many of you mentioned this as essential. No marriage is great absolutely great all the time. Your spouse isn’t perfect and neither are … Continue reading

Marriages Need to Grow

Those who have been through marriage preparation classes could perhaps be better prepared for the reality of marriage. They’re a good idea but they still don’t have all the answers. Basically we can discuss issues before we are married. Mick and I did. We talked about children, money, other family members, religion and anything else that came to mind and that’s great. But sometimes those held views change over time and we need to rethink. That’s when we need to make sure the lines of communication stay open. Good, lasting marriages don’t just happen. Like gardens they need time to … Continue reading