Search Results for: blog for a good marriage avoid the story telling

Modeling Your Marriage for Your Kids

The other night at dinner, our four-year old daughter got very giggly, as little girls with their heads full of princesses and glittery things are wont to do. My husband and I looked back at her a few times and shrugged it all off to kid weirdness. We returned our attention to our dinners. A few minutes later, the giggling started again, along with a question, “Are you getting married again?” “We are already married, honey,” my husband responded. “Then why do you keep looking at each other?” she asked. Okay, this conversation was now getting interesting, I thought. We … Continue reading →

Avoid Ultimatums in Marriage

Ultimatums are a relationship technique that is often ineffective and causes damage in itself. Why do we issue ultimatums and what are some better ways to deal with an issue? Let’s discuss ultimatums in marriage. Why are ultimatums used? In general, ultimatums will be used by someone who may be feeling a bit desperate. If you feel that your needs aren’t being met or if the relationship isn’t going the way that you want it to go, then you might issue an ultimatum. Frustration and lack of communication often breeds ultimatums. It is a way of putting everything out on … Continue reading →

What You Should Talk About in Your Marriage

If you haven’t discussed the following topics before you got married then you should do so soon. You want to make sure that there are certain things you both understand, if you want to have a long and happy marriage. Sex Most couples, even close couples, don’t like talking about sex. But sex can get you in to all sorts of trouble. You should confront and discuss different aspects of sex, such as how much and how often. You should also establish a way to gently communicate when one of you just isn’t up for sex, and how each of … Continue reading →

Three Things Not to Do in a Marriage

If you want to avoid divorce then you might want to avoid doing the following three things in your marriage. Spy Spying can break down the trust between a couple. And the person doing the spying should be prepared for the consequences, whether it is information that the spouse would rather not have or the conflict that arises when the spying spouse is found out. Here are some of the reasons that people spy on their spouses: They suspect infidelity They feel a right to know everything about the other person They wonder at too much time spent at the … Continue reading →

Avoid Nitpicking for a Happier Marriage

Some people raise nitpicking to an art form. For these individuals, they expect the best, or at least things done the way that they think they should be done, and will settle for no less. But even with couples that are easy going, some nitpicking can sneak in. We are all capable of it, but if you want to have a happy marriage, you should avoid the nitpicking at all costs. Nickpicking nearly drove me insane in a previous relationship with a man who was otherwise very loving, attentive, intelligent and who could make me laugh. He tended to criticize … Continue reading →

Marriage and Household Roles

Having “assigned roles” in the household can make for fewer arguments in a marriage. Knowing exactly who is responsible for what can help the tasks get done and cut down on arguments. Here is how. Assigning roles In my marriage, we seem to have naturally fallen into responsibilities, although some things are done as a team, and other things seem to be done by whomever gets inspired (or tired) when a task is left undone. Most of the time, we fall into the typical gender roles that you might have expected from the 1950s. Part of the reason for this … Continue reading →

For a Good Marriage, Avoid the Story Telling

Your mother-in-law made a nasty comment and your husband didn’t step in to say something. Or, he forgot to fix the garage door again. You are just so annoyed. So when your best friend calls, you are ready to vent. But when venting turns into story telling, you may be harming your marriage. Here is why. We all tend to do it. You start out complaining about one thing, and before you know it, the story has evolved with details about every single way that your spouse needs to step up and change. Soon a long list of faults emerges … Continue reading →

Complex Lies & Your Marriage

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It often starts off with good intentions, but those intentions can damage a marriage with their consequences far more than the liar can imagine. You’ve likely heard the story before – the wife goes to see a therapist because she is dealing with issues from her past, but she doesn’t tell her husband. When he becomes suspicious of her regular absences, their trust is damaged because he has to find out on his own. The husband who doesn’t tell the wife there is a problem until their savings account is drained because he thought he could fix it and then … Continue reading →

The Five Things You Don’t Want In Your Marriage (Part II)

We talked about the Five Things You Don’t Want In Your Marriage earlier today. Here is the rest of the list. Walking Away In Silence Sometimes, when we’re angry – we may elect to just walk away from the fight. We can do this for any number of reasons, but if you walk away in silence you may leave your spouse floundering behind. It’s advisable to always assume good intentions, it’s not realistic to expect your spouse to read your minds. Rather than walk away in silence, say something. If you need a break to collect your thoughts and avoid … Continue reading →

When Your Spouse Disappoints You

There are moments in your marriage when your spouse may disappoint you. If this happens, it is sometimes hard to know how to deal with the disappointment without making things much worse. Disappointment can come in many forms and be minor or major. it could be as simple as forgetting to pick something up at the store or a complicated as an extramarital affair. In some of the most difficult situations, the disappointment in your spouse can actually change the way you look at your spouse. Perhaps you never thought that he or she could do something that would disappoint … Continue reading →