Finding Balance Between Spending Time Together and Time Alone

by Ariala | More from this Blogger

09 Jan 2006 04:50 PM

Many newlyweds want to spend a lot of time together, but at some point, the need for alone time is needed. For some couples, time alone is more necessary than for other couples. It's unusual when both people need the same amount of alone time or the same amount of together time, but if you happen to be with someone who's just like you, that may be the case. For most couples, however, one individual surfaces as the one who needs more time alone. This shouldn't be a problem, but for some it is.

If you happen to be the type of person who operates better in life when you've had some time alone to think, meditate, and enjoy your own solitude to unwind and decompress, it's important to make that clear to your spouse.

Many individuals in marriages are opposites - one is the introvert, and the other is the extrovert. The introvert naturally seeks more time alone. Introverts recharge their batteries by spending time alone. Being around people and interacting recharges extroverts.

If you're the extrovert in the family, it might be a good thing for you to make plans with your own friends once and a while, giving your introvert spouse some time alone. It might also be good to spend time alone, but yet, together in the same home. That's going to happen a lot, anyway. You might as well get used to it and learn to enjoy it. You could be working on a project or hobby and your spouse could be doing something else. Though the extrovert may desire more time together, every one needs time to discover more about themselves, separate from the other person.

Some couples, when they first marry, feel like they're still "playing house." One will be cooking and the other paying bills. They will run into each other from room to room and share a kiss, a moment, and then get back to that "alone time." Soon enough, the "together time" is desired and before you know it, couples find each other embraced or getting cozy on the couch watching a movie. All in all, it's just a matter of finding your own groove as a couple.

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