“Right Fighters” = Marriage Saboteurs

Yesterday I talked about how, among other things, the season for fighting is upon us. I also ended the article saying I’d examine some ways to fight fairly to ensure any fights you might have this holiday season are good ones, not just big ones –or, more importantly, rehashed ones. I’m actually going to start off by telling you a way not to fight. It has to do with the following quote and an article I wrote several months back about “Right Fighters”, a term I picked up from Dr. Phil. Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have … Continue reading

‘Tis the Season for Fighting

While Hallmark and Kay Jewelers commercials may try and lead us to believe this is a season of receiving romantic gifts and creating peaceful memories, anyone involved in a real-life relationship knows this can be a season for anything but blissful moments. The holidays add stress. There are extra errands to run, gifts to buy, parties to attend, and schedules to shuffle. Yes, amidst the chaos there are happy times or else no one would sign up for the seasonal celebrations year after year, but there’s also the potential for plenty of chaos and short fuses –and I don’t just … Continue reading

“Right Fighters”

I don’t get the chance to watch Dr. Phil very often, but a while back I happened to catch part of one of his shows. As he does so often, he was trying to help a couple understand why they fight so much. In this case it was because one of the spouses (I forget if it was the husband or wife) was what he calls a “right fighter.” What a Right Fighter Is Right fighters only care about being right. Whatever the argument is, as long as they’re right (or think they’re right), they’ll keep the argument going until … Continue reading

The Passive Aggressive Spouse

Is your spouse passive aggressive? The words passive and aggressive seem in direct opposition to each other – but the truth is when your spouse is passive aggressive you may feel like you are sleeping with a porcupine in sheep’s clothing. What Does It Mean For a Spouse to Be Passive Aggressive? A passive aggressive spouse may never seem angry, but you discover that your shorts have been shrunk in the wash or the errand you assumed they were doing is completely skipped. I know one woman who’s always been passive aggressive in her relationships and no matter how furious … Continue reading

The Marriage Week in Review for December 9-15

Here we are, just over 2 weeks into December and closing in on Christmas. December started off hectic for me and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down – though my vow to keep things simple has actually paid off a great deal. Yesterday was the capper to the week as we celebrated the holidays at my daughter’s school, gave out gifts and delivered gently used items to charity and more. My husband is back to work and while he is still not 100% recovered, he is doing great and enjoying getting around more. We’ve got a lot to do … Continue reading