Don't Seethe in Silence

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

01 Jun 2007 04:54 AM

Family life, married life - none of it is perfect and most couples that are married know this. There is the promise of married life when we're young - an image of the perfect happily ever after. Too often when a young couple, not prepared for the rigors of married life, discover that it's not a happily ever after unless they put in a lot of effort.

Understanding this and accepting it is called being mindful in your acceptance. Your married life isn't going to be perfect. You and your spouse will argue. Your kids will yell at you. You'll be angry with them. When you can accept this, you won't seethe in silence and you won't walk around with a belly full of resentment and misery.

No One Is Perfect

It can be hard to wake up and realize that no one is perfect - not you and not your spouse. It can be hard maintain the expectation of perfection. It can create a great deal of stress on both of you and your marriage. It can be very unhealthy promote a belief in domestic bliss that is based on perfection.

Does that mean you and your spouse can never achieve a sensation of domestic bliss? Of course, you can. You can accept that from time to time you will disagree. You will argue. You will sort it out. You will make up. You will make love. You will snuggle. You will keep each other at arm's length. Disputes will become discussions, discussions may even become dispute.

If you practice mindful acceptance of these ideas, you will likely have a happier marriage. Sometimes, a good argument clears the air of all the little resentments that we foster. Did he forget to pick up the stuff at the store you asked for? Did she say she'd throw your laundry in and then forgot? We gather up these little resentments every day like Easter eggs.

Accept the fact that neither of you are not perfect and that you're going to make mistakes and you're going to argue. If you can do these things, chances are you and your spouse are going to work on the making up a lot harder than you did on the argument. You may be too angry to hear each other at first, but you're going to come back to that table of discussion again and again to sort it out - and you'll both be far less likely to just throw in the towel on the relationship.

Do you seethe in silence or do you accept the idea that you'll disagree from time to time?

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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