Search Results for: blog does marriage really change

The Difference Between Friendship and Marriage

Sometimes I wonder what the difference is between friendship and marriage.  Not casual friendship, or even good friendship, but really-close, best-friends, rely-on-each-other-for-everything friendship.  If we look to the media for answers, it seems to imply that the only difference is physical desire.  In movies and television, the only or at least primary distinguishable change in the relationship between two characters that are best friends, and then become something more, is that their relationship adds a sexual element. Those are usually my favorite types of stories (as opposed to ones where the characters aren’t friends but jump right to dating), only … Continue reading →

Commonsense Ways to a Happier Marriage

You will often hear about “secrets” to a happy marriage.  Personally, I don’t believe there is anything secret about having a happy marriage. Most of what it takes is well known.  In other words, we know what to do to have a happier marriage.  The key is choosing to do those things. So instead, let’s look at some old-fashioned commonsense ways to keep the marriage happy.  We start with the understanding that your spouse will never be perfect. Now most of us probably don’t really think that our spouse should be perfect.  Yet we place expectations that are oftentimes unrealistic.  … Continue reading →

Learning Marriage from Your Parents

I was raised with somewhat progressive views on marriage.  It feels strange to even be typing that, and it’s certainly nothing I ever thought growing up.  I know that on the overall spectrum of views on marriage, the ideals with which I was raised would only be in the middle, and probably closer to the conservative side of the middle.  But it’s still so surprising to me how many people aren’t even that far. I’ve already shared my story about my college roommate.   The reason she and her boyfriend didn’t talk for years about division of labor in the household, … Continue reading →

Marriage Is a Gem

If you could describe the whole of marriage, how would you do that?  I think I would describe it as a gem, one that is meant to be polished and taken care of. But I would also describe it as having imperfections.  Nothing in this world is really perfect, is it?  You look close enough; you can usually find a flaw.  The same is true in marriage. Yet when you take a step back, looking past the imperfections and flaws, you see nothing but a beautiful treasure.  Women oftentimes will hold their hand at a distance, as they admire the … Continue reading →

Seasons of Marriage

Here in the Midwest we are experiencing some of the most beautiful, brilliant colors on the trees. Never have the reds and oranges seemed so deep. You don’t even have to take a ride in the country to experience the wonder. It is in virtually every neighborhood. It got me thinking about the changing seasons and how different each one is. It wasn’t that long ago we had our central air on because it was blazing hot outside. And before you know it, snow will be blanketing the ground. Marriages go through seasonal changes as well. Most seem to start … Continue reading →

Does Marriage Really Change?

It wasn’t that long ago I was having a conversation with a woman who has been married for less than a year. We got on the topic of how marriage changes, something she didn’t quite believe. I remember being there. You think it will always be full of passion and you will always put each other’s needs first. Everything your spouse does is cute. Well here is the reality. It won’t always be full of passion because sometimes you will be exhausted at the end of a long day. You won’t always put your spouse’s needs first, especially when the … Continue reading →

How Does Having Children Affect Friendships?

Sometimes, I worry about what having kids will do to my already nonexistent social life. I’m not whining about not being able to go out and have fun anymore. That’s just not my thing. I’m a stay-in, watch-movies, read-books, play-video-games kind-of-person. My closest friends are those who like to do the same thing. What I’m worried about is growing further apart from the friends that I do have. A lot has already been written about how important it is to preserve one’s friendships outside of our marriage. We may have (hopefully) married our best friend, or at least one of … Continue reading →

What Makes a Marriage Work?

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it can leave you to wonder, “What makes a marriage work?” Now I am by no means an expert but I will very soon be celebrating 21 years of marriage, so hopefully I can provide at least some encouragement. Let me start off by saying this. I will never tell someone, “I have been happily married for 20 years.” That would be a lie. While there definitely has been more happiness than not, mixed in have been times where I wondered if we would make it. To pretend otherwise doesn’t really do any … Continue reading →

How Premarital Counseling Might Help Marriages

What comes next? The other week one of the local radio station’s morning talk program held a discussion on marriage. A young engaged woman called in. She said that she signed herself and her fiance up for premarital counseling. She did so, she claimed, because her husband-to-be doesn’t know anything about what a modern marriage ought to be like. Her beloved was raised by his socially conservative grandmother. Now that they’re approaching their married life it came out that he believes she will do all of the work around the house and take care of the kids. We’ve looked at … Continue reading →

A Different View on Marriage

When I first seriously thought about writing for the Marriage blog, a topic that essentially breaks down into being about love and relationships, my initial reaction was “Eugh!” So then what am I doing here? Upon deeper examination, I realized that my reaction was not to writing about marriage and love itself, but to the forms in which that usually occurs. I don’t really go for lovey-dovey type stuff, and in many ways my husband and I have a somewhat nontraditional, or at least a different, relationship (though in many other ways we’re very traditional). I’m so passionate on this … Continue reading →