Search Results for: blog do you love your spouse too bad

Is There Such a Thing as Too Nice?

Is there such a thing as being too nice? When we’re in a relationship with someone, particularly when we’re married, we learn the answer to that question: yes. It’s not necessarily that too much niceness is bad, but that what one person might interpret as nice isn’t so great for the other. A friend and I were talking about that today in relation to our husbands. She shared that one time, her husband managed to bring home a big chocolate cake on the first day she was starting a new diet, something he knew about. Another time he kept filling … Continue reading →

Do You and Your Spouse Sleep in Separate Beds?

In the days of black and white television, it was scandalous to show a man and woman in the same bed. I remember seeing episodes of I Love Lucy and wondered why Lucy and Ricky had twin beds—the world just wasn’t ready for anything more suggestive. Today when we hear of a man and woman sleeping in two separate beds, our thoughts immediately leap to the conclusion that they are having anger and/or sexual problems. But is that the only reason for sleeping separately? Some people are driven to the couch or to the guest bedroom by their spouse’s snoring … Continue reading →

Creating Community: Volunteering

Yesterday we talked a bit about how informal, community acts of helping and giving can create community connections and teach your children about how giving does not need to be onerous. Today, let’s talk about another way of giving (and receiving!): volunteering. I started volunteering as a young child. I recall spending many of my lunch hours in the school store, helping sell yogurt and drinks to other students as a fundraiser for our school council. I worked with one of our supervision aides, a gruff but kind woman who taught me how to make change and do very quick … Continue reading →

Do You Speak Your Husband’s Love Language?

We all have our own love language. In other words, what speaks love to one person might not be the same thing as another person. This is best explained in the book, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. If you don’t already know what your love language is, you can find out by visiting their website. But I would also strongly encourage you to find out what your spouse’s love language is. This could make a significant difference in the way you interact with one another. It could even lead to a stronger marriage. Think of it this way. … Continue reading →

What Can You Do If You Are Married to a Non Believer?

I am conscious after last week when Mick was sick and had to stay home from church, how hard is for those whose marriage partners are not believers. If your spouse is not a believer and you are, what can you do? These ideas are based on an article I read last year in Footprints magazine contributed by someone who is married to a non believer and some of my own ideas. Pray The first and best thing you can do is pray. You may not be able to change your spouse and convince them to believe but God can. … Continue reading →

Loving an Angry Man

I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my husband early in our relationship regarding his anger issues. I was trying to ascertain whether or not he understood the impact his volatile temper had on his personal and professional life. When I realized that he didn’t necessarily consider his anger a negative attribute, I asked him, “How do you figure your temper helps you?” His answer was swift and decisive: “People are afraid of me, so they usually do what I want.” He was a little slower in answering my next question: “And how does it hurt you?” Like most … Continue reading →

To Leave or Not to Leave

In the early years of our marriage, the threat of leaving became our default position in a distressing number of our fights. For me, the devastation of feeling totally misunderstood, my efforts unappreciated, and my actions unfairly judged left me thinking that there was only one way out, and that way was out the door. Over the years, however, I have come to understand a few things: 1) There is hardly ever just one way out; 2) If you are truly committed to the marriage, leaving is not an option; and, 3) Control is at the root of most conflict. … Continue reading →

Beware the Stereotype

According to the experts men are notoriously bad about going to the doctors. Even as I write this, I am aware it is a generalization and therefore suspect. A doctor I heard about recently has tried to combat the problem by introducing a man friendly waiting room. He’s thrown out all the women’s magazines and replaced them with fishing and motoring magazines. He always has the TV tuned into the Sports channel. When Mick heard about it he was horrified at the stereotyping. ‘Who said guys are only interested in fishing and cars?’ Mick is not into either. It’s the … Continue reading →

More Ways for Relieving Stress

Following on from yesterday’s post, here are more ways to relieve stress. Obviously a lot will depend on your own personality. For example some people might suggest massage as the ultimate in relaxation and relieving stress. To me, there is nothing relaxing about having another person massaging me, unless that person is Mick of course, or sometimes when our daughter was living at home, she gave me a massage, particularly when my neck and shoulder were really bad. But as for going to a masseur, it would never happen in my lifetime but I know others who love it. So … Continue reading →

Concentrate on the Good

Yesterday, several friends were talking about a show they’d seen on TV that morning. It raised the point about what are the worst faults you spouse has in bed. People it seemed were quite happy to get on television and put their spouse down for their faults whether they be snoring or they had another annoying habits. One woman went on to list a number of faults her husband had. And then thought she‘d better stop in case he was watching the show. It’s a bit late then after she’d already aired all the secrets. I couldn’t help thinking what … Continue reading →