Search Results for: blog do you have the makings of a good wife

Me Focused

A marriage needs to be nurtured.  It requires sacrifice, giving and selflessness.  But it can’t always be “other focused.” You see, if all of your efforts go into pleasing your spouse, its going to cause burnout or possibly bitterness.  This means that just as important as it is to take care of your spouse and your marriage, you need to take care of yourself. A failure to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually won’t make you a better marriage partner.  You are more likely to struggle with fatigue, depression, irritability and lots of other not-so-pleasant qualities that can … Continue reading →

Changing Roles

I recently finished an excellent book that I highly recommend called “My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife” by Sara Horn. If you fit into any one of these categories—Christian woman, writer or military wife—I know you will definitely enjoy it. One of the reasons I really liked this book is because I could relate to the wife. Not in the sense that I am a military wife but in trying to figure out our roles, including who is responsible for what. When my husband and I first got married nearly 21 years ago, I was a pretty headstrong … Continue reading →

Choosing to Love

Is it really possible to fall out of love? While most would probably say yes, I tend to have a different philosophy on this. Love comes in one of two ways. One is naturally, such as the love a mother feels when she holds her child in her arms for the first time. Despite the fact she has known this person for a few seconds, there is a natural love that flows out. Then there is love that develops over time. When I first met my husband I didn’t feel instant love for him. But it did begin to form … Continue reading →

The Importance of Touch

My husband just returned to work after 3-4 days home sick with a fever. I doted on him for the duration. I didn’t do it because I thought it was the wife’s role, but because it’s what I’d expect anyone to do if a person they loved was ill. I expect similar dedication from Jon when I’m not feeling well. Copying many of the nursing habits my mom employed when my brother and I were sick growing up, I made him endless cups of tea: Echinacea, cold care, green tea with honey. I froze juice and made slushies for him. … Continue reading →

January Check In: New Year’s Resolutions in Marriage

It’s time to check in and see how you are doing on your New Year’s resolutions. Did you make any resolutions in the area of your marriage? If you didn’t, I strongly encourage you to do so. Call them resolutions, goals or whatever you like…all of us could take steps to improve our marriages. In fact, this is my challenge for me and you the reader. Think of one thing you can do in the upcoming month to make your marriage better. Is there something that you know drives your spouse crazy that you could stop doing? Is there something … Continue reading →

Once Upon a Time Recap: Fruit of the Poisonous Tree

“No, No, No!” I wanted to shout at the television screen last night while watching ABC’s Once Upon a Time. We knew all along that Sidney was the man in the magic mirror, but now we got the backstory as well as a little bit of Regina’s own. What made the evil queen so evil? A man she loved who didn’t love her back? Prisoned in a life of unhappiness that ultimately damaged her to the point of no return? We’d like to think that there was a good reason, an excuse behind the evil deeds of Regina, wouldn’t we? … Continue reading →

The Ups and Downs of Marriage

If you have been married for any length of time, you quickly come to realize that marriage has ups and downs. Sometimes the ups are more than the downs, but it can also be the other way. Or it may be that the downs seem to last longer. The important thing is that you accept the fact that it won’t always be sunshine and roses. Sometimes people go into marriage with a certain expectation and as soon as things get difficult, they start to question if they should stay. Sometimes they don’t even take the time to question it, they … Continue reading →

A Different View on Marriage

When I first seriously thought about writing for the Marriage blog, a topic that essentially breaks down into being about love and relationships, my initial reaction was “Eugh!” So then what am I doing here? Upon deeper examination, I realized that my reaction was not to writing about marriage and love itself, but to the forms in which that usually occurs. I don’t really go for lovey-dovey type stuff, and in many ways my husband and I have a somewhat nontraditional, or at least a different, relationship (though in many other ways we’re very traditional). I’m so passionate on this … Continue reading →

Do You Have the Makings of a Good Wife?

I ran across a copy of an old article from “Housekeeping Monthly,” the May, 13, 1955 edition. The title of the article was, “The Good Wife’s Guide.” After reading through it, all I could think was, “Boy, times have changed!” The expectations of a wife from 1955 are very different than now. Here is a summary of what made a good wife in the year 1955: A meal that was ready and waiting for her husband Taking 15 minutes to refresh and touch yourself up (for added measure, put a ribbon in your hair) Clear away any clutter in the … Continue reading →

I Do But I Don’t

Over 20 years ago I said, “I do” in my wedding ceremony. I think with the passage of so much time, it isn’t a bad idea to go back to that place and really think about the implications of “I do.” It isn’t a bad idea for anyone who is married for any period of time, because I think what can subtly happen is that our “I dos” turn into “I don’t.” Consider the traditional wedding vows: I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, … Continue reading →