Search Results for: blog do you have a divorce threshold

Privacy vs. Secrecy: How to Foster Intimacy in Your Relationships

Information really is power; how, what, and when to share can have a far-reaching impact on our ability to foster intimacy in our relationships. It is almost a rite of passage, for instance, for a new couple to explore one another’s past—first loves, first kisses, and even the first big heartbreak. These conversations both require and build a significant level of trust, as they reveal how we act and react at our most vulnerable moments. So what does it mean when your partner refuses to share? It can mean many things; the problem, of course, is that we often assume … Continue reading →

Do You Have a Divorce Threshold?

“If my husband ever cheated on me, that would be the end of it.” “He ever hits me, and he’s on the sidewalk with divorce papers in his hand.” I often hear women make comments like these, and I completely agree that infidelity and abuse have no place whatsoever in a marriage. If these elements have come into your relationship, they should be rooted out immediately. However, I then wonder, is there a boundary between what does and does not entitle a person to stay married? Is there a line that, once you’ve crossed it, you must get a divorce? … Continue reading →

Infidelity

Many marriages, but not all, experience infidelity at one time or another, either through the wife’s actions, the husband’s, or even possibly both. It can be overcome, but not accidentally, not by chance, not by wishing for it. The partner who cheated must feel true regret for what happened and make a sincere, solid decision that it will never happen again. They must break all ties with the person they cheated with, and never interact with them in any way again—otherwise, not only will the temptation be too great, but they will be reminded of the affair every time they … Continue reading →

Physical Abuse Can Go Both Ways

We all know that it’s not right for a man to hit his wife. There are all kinds of protective agencies and laws in place, shelters for abused women, support groups that meet both online and in person. This is how it should be, but what about marriages in which the wife is abusive to the husband? It does happen. Most of the time, the husband is physically stronger than the wife, and if he’s the abuser, he can inflict a lot more damage. He can break her arms and ribs, give her concussions and bruises, and even cause wounds … Continue reading →

Fallen Out of Love?

Sometimes I see and hear people talking about their marriages and a couple of main themes crop up time and time again. One is that of one person in the couple feeling they have fallen out of love with their partner. If we expect all of our married life to be like the heady first flush when we first fell in love, then we are going to be in for a shock. Love is more than just an emotion. It is more than just a feeling. Love involves action. Loving is about doing. If we care for someone, we show … Continue reading →

Family Counseling—Feeling Vulnerable

For many of us, family or individual counseling eventually comes into the picture. We may seek counseling to help us over a rough patch or to help our family after a separation, divorce, death, or other family crisis. Once we have taken the plunge and reached out for help, the hard part is definitely not over. It is very typical to feel anxious and vulnerable as you embark on family counseling. As someone who was never “against” counseling, but just didn’t think that my family or family members would ever need it, I know first hand how vulnerable it can … Continue reading →

How Many People Actually Live Here?

I have one of those homes. One of those dwellings where on any given day at any given hour, you will find a different collection of inhabitants within our four walls. The only mainstays and constants are the two cats and the Beta fish named Taylor (who continues to live and thrive despite having been told he would only live 2 years). As much as the control freak in me tries to get and keep a handle on the full-size bodies coming and going over my threshold, some days I just don’t have any idea how many people will be … Continue reading →