Do I Really Need a Replacement Ring?

by Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger

28 Oct 2008 02:17 PM

Earlier this year I wrote about how I broke my ring. As much as I hate looking at my naked ring finger (which always reminds me that it's my own fault my diamond's not perched there anymore), I realized this past Saturday I don't want another ring.

Looking at New Rings

My heart hasn't been in the shopping mood anyway, but while we were waiting for a table at Carrabba's Saturday night, Wayne suggested we skip across the parking lot to Jared's and see what kind of rings they had.

"I really need to get you another ring. It's been weighing on my mind. But I have no idea what style you might like."

That makes two of us.

However, instead of being giddy with anticipation and excitement like I had been back in 1994 when we'd gone engagement ring shopping, I was surprised to find myself nearly overcome with tears of sadness. (Except when Wayne picked a ring that was almost identical to mine. Then I laughed because his tastes are still the same.)

Irreplaceable

My original ring symbolized us making it official that we were soon going to be Mr. and Mrs. Us Against the World. A new ring couldn't replace that.

To me, it's like this: just as I couldn't replace Wayne or my pets if something happened to one of them, I can't replace my ring either. It's an original. A new one won't have the same significance.

Even if my ring's repairable (meaning we get a new diamond), it's still not the same. I'll always know it's not my original diamond, and I'm not sure I even want another diamond anyway. (After I saw the movie Blood Diamond and learned how diamonds are harvested and people are exploited just so girls can adorn themselves with the jewels, it's kind of akin to learning what's in a hot dog. Takes the fun out of it.)

Strictly Procedural, No Romance

I'm still married even though I no longer have a ring to display that status. And you know what? I'm fine with that.

I don't want to replace it just for the sake of doing it. That's not romantic at all. It's just perfunctory.

(Now if Wayne were to come to me and get down on his knees and present me with a new ring while he declared his never ending love for me and that he wanted me to be his wife all over again? It might sweeten the mood and sway my heart.)

But just to put another ring on my finger for replacement sake won't warm my heart every time I look at it like my old one did. I won't have the special memory of us getting engaged to make it significant.

So my answer to the title question is, "Nope. I'd rather just have my boring old naked ring finger instead of a replacement ring."

How do you think you'd feel? (Or maybe you've been in my shoes. Did you get a replacement ring?)

Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.

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Learn more about Courtney Mroch

Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k.

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mrmnmom82 (3365) 28 Oct 2008 08:17 PM

I have been in your shoes. But I needed to replace my ring because my original was injuring my children. The diamond wasn't big, but sat very high off my finger. I scratched the corner of my son's eye with it, I scratched my baby multiple times on her back and neck. I needed a ring that sat flush to my finger, and I got it. My husband didn't present it to me or anything, but wanted something on my finger that made me think of him, and us. Now I have a ring that also makes me think of our children. I love the ring! Yes it's pretty, but I get to have that symbol on my hand every day, and I get to go about my day with my children without the old concerns.

Courtney Mroch (9169) 28 Oct 2008 08:50 PM

Yikes! I can understand why you'd want another ring, and I'm glad you shared this with me. Your perspective helped me see it in another light. Thank you.