Search Results for: blog disagreements arent always bad for your marriage

What Is Your Marriage Teaching Your Children?

An often overlooked area in a marriage is the influence it has upon the children. Have you ever really thought about the message you are sending your children concerning marriage? Marriage isn’t just about two people if you have children. Your marriage is a huge factor in decisions they will make in the future, including what to look for in a mate. How you treat your spouse speaks volumes to our children. If boys see their father as an overbearing, cruel husband…what do you think is going to happen when that little boy grows up? If girls see their mothers … Continue reading →

To Leave or Not to Leave

In the early years of our marriage, the threat of leaving became our default position in a distressing number of our fights. For me, the devastation of feeling totally misunderstood, my efforts unappreciated, and my actions unfairly judged left me thinking that there was only one way out, and that way was out the door. Over the years, however, I have come to understand a few things: 1) There is hardly ever just one way out; 2) If you are truly committed to the marriage, leaving is not an option; and, 3) Control is at the root of most conflict. … Continue reading →

Benefit Your Marriage

Have you heard about the seven Fs that can make or break a marriage? I read about them this week. If you remember, I did a series of alphabetical blogs at one stage. Back in February I touched on a few in the article F Means Fail. I was interested to see some of mine mentioned there matched up with the 7 mentioned in the book I read. Their 7 are: ‘Friendship, Family, Faith, Finances, Fighting, Forgiving and Fertilization.’ Fertilization didn’t mean sex and procreation, though I’m sure that would come into it too. It actually meant spending time fertilizing … Continue reading →

Warm, Welcoming and Wise

Finally I’ve returned from my various excursions into other areas to come back to the alphabetical marriage blog. I believe we’re up to W. Warm Show your spouse the warmth of your love each day. Welcoming Welcome them with a kiss and a hug when they come home or whenever you have been apart, even if they’ve only been out in the garden for a while. Let them know you’re glad they’re there. Also be welcoming to others and welcome them into your home. As we share our lives with others, they will see the way we are living and … Continue reading →

Quality of Marriage

The quality of your marriage might well depend on whether and in what quantities these other Qs are present. If you or your spouse is any of those mentioned below you might for you marriage’s sake try and eliminate them from your marriage Querulous The dictionary definition is complaining or peevish. Do you know someone who is like this, who is always complaining? I do and, no, it’s not Mick or anyone in the family. No matter what anybody does it is never right, never good enough. There’s always something they have to whinge about. It is very wearing and … Continue reading →

What Makes People Get Married?

What makes people get married? From comments I’ve had recently on certain articles and from discussions in the forum, I have to wonder what makes people get married. When I read or listen to what some people say about their spouse, I have to wonder why they married them at all. Did the person change so much after they were married as though had been putting up a front and then suddenly let down their guard? Did they not take enough time to get to know the person and went solely on a physical attraction – more lust than love? … Continue reading →

Did You Ever Have One of Those Days?

Sometimes you know it’s just going to be like in the Elvis song Did you ever have one of those days – days where every thing goes wrong. The day started with my breakfast of banana, boysenberries and blueberries Mick and I had picked the day before at the berry farm and muesli all over the floor. What happened? I was working and wasn’t quite watching what I was doing, missed the desk and hey presto, breakfast was on the floor. Get another bowl and start again. Take two. Our little dog discovered she likes muesli and berries. She always … Continue reading →

Do You Vote the Same as Your Spouse?

Do you vote the same way as your spouse? Does it matter if you don’t? Or is it one of those fundamental differences where you would not even consider marrying someone who had a different political stance? One of the things that interested me in the article recently in Time magazine was it claims that 40 years ago a woman would have most likely voted the same way as her husband. Over the years Mick and I have been married, and it’s over 40, sometimes we have we have voted the same way. Other times we haven’t. What we have … Continue reading →

What You Say and How You Say It.

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you don’t say what you mean, or the words tangle and don’t come out the way they should. It’s good when there’s someone who knows what you mean anyway. It’s like the quote by Ann D Parrish on my calendar that says ‘A friend understands what you are trying to say… even when your thoughts aren’t fitting into words. ‘ It’s even better when that person who understands like this is your marriage partner. The other night Mick and I were sitting each doing crosswords and he came across a clue and filled in … Continue reading →

Helping Young Marrieds

If you’ve been married a few years or a long while, how prepared are you to encourage and help those just starting out on the marriage path? Recently a couple I know celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary. Someone commented that in this day and age where many marriages never last anywhere near that long, this couple is an encouragement to others. I remember too when I said once how long Mick and I had been married the person looked at me in stunned amazement. She then congratulated me on our long marriage. Funnily enough it doesn’t seem that long at … Continue reading →