Search Results for: blog diamonds do not equal love

Doofy Husbands

Have you ever heard of doofy husbands?  They’re the guys in commercials who are always incapable of doing anything around the house.  They try to do the laundry, clean a room, or cook a meal, always to hilarious failure.  Their long-suffering wives come into the room and shake their heads, then proceed to use whatever product is being shilled to accomplish the task with ease. The concept of doofy husbands is problematic for a couple reasons: it doesn’t give men enough credit, and it perpetuates the idea that men aren’t good at performing many household, traditionally feminine tasks.  It implies … Continue reading →

Sleeping in Separate Beds: You’re Not Alone

Our culture believes that couples who sleep in separate beds are either experiencing or inviting problems in their marriage. Because I’m a light sleeper, I’m a firm believer that couples should be free to sleep separately if necessary. Jon and I almost always sleep together, but if one of us is restless we move to another bed, to keep that person from being woken up. I know that sleeping in the same bed improves intimacy. Once kids are part of the equation alone time between couples is scarce, and time in bed together, even if it’s just the process of … Continue reading →

Diamonds Do Not Equal Love

When I first started at the Marriage Blog I mentioned my feelings on diamond commercials and promised to expound on them. Given that we see many such ads this time of year, it seems like an appropriate time to make my promised follow-up. I’m not a big jewelry person so diamonds never appealed to me. That wouldn’t really be a big deal, except that for my entire life I’ve been inundated by ads and assumptions telling me the opposite. “So what?” you might wonder. Well, the media can have a much more powerful effect, subtle though it might be, on … Continue reading →

The Marriage Blog Week in Review for December 3-9

It’s that time of year…the busy time. (Busier than usual anyway.) Find you have limited time to keep up on all the blogs you want to read? That’s what makes Week in Reviews invaluable. They’re your key to staying in tune with what Karri, Heather, and I wrote about last week in the Marriage blog. Monday, December 3 All I Want for Christmas… Since Heather and her family were assaulted with health problems throughout the year, all she wants is to enjoy her work at Families.com without anymore trips to the doctor interrupting it! For Men Who Do Not Wear … Continue reading →

The Effects of the Media on Romance

Where do our irrational romantic impulses come from? Are they just something we naturally want; after all, everyone likes to be spoiled. But often we equate all romance with grand gestures, or expect our relationships to play out like fairy tales. We have the media to blame for that. I know I sound like a broken record sometimes, and it must seem like I think we shouldn’t watch movies or television. I don’t believe that at all, but I can testify that too many romcoms, or at least, not approaching them in the right way, can have a negative effect. … Continue reading →

The Harmful “Him” vs. “Her”

I know that men and women think differently. My first impulse is to examine how much of that is natural and how much is a result of cultural conditioning, but that’s a study for another time, and really another blog. What I want to focus on today is the sort of “us” vs. “them” mentality that arises sometimes, and how that might affect marriages. I had to read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” for a high school health class. I found it abhorrent, and said as much in my paper on the book. I understand as much … Continue reading →

Wedding Rings and Gender Roles, Pt. 2

Last time I examined the discussion over whether or not men should have to wear wedding rings. Just about all of the arguments either for or against skipped one relevant consideration: whether or not women should have to or even enjoy wearing them. Only one article I found briefly acknowledged the idea: the author said that neither of her parents has worn a wedding ring for decades, for a variety of reasons. That’s all we’ve got: in the wedding rings debate we have in-depth considerations of male class traditions, shifting perspectives of masculinity, and a man’s role in a marriage, … Continue reading →

Wedding Rings and Gender Roles, Pt. 1

The practice of wearing wedding rings has roots in ancient Egypt. The Egyptians might have believed that circles represent eternity, fitting for a marriage vow. Wearing the rings on our left hand dates to the Roman era: Romans apparently believed that the fourth finger on our left hands had a vein that went directly to the heart. While women have worn wedding (and engagement) rings for centuries, the practice of men donning the former only dates to the 20th century. Some sources speculate that it had to do with World War II: men started wearing the rings while deployed, as … Continue reading →

Quelling Irrational Romantic Expectations

I have a secret shame: sometimes I expect or want traditional fluffy romance from Jonathan. Yes, it’s a shocker, given how often I soap box against it. The thing is I shouldn’t be ashamed of these occasional urges. The mature response would be that, although most of the time it’s not something I consider necessary or even want, if I believe it’s valid for other people (which I do) I should have no problem accepting that it’s O.K. when I want it, too. I would feel that way if it wasn’t for the form in which these desires for traditional … Continue reading →

The Meeting of the Parents

A friend of ours just got engaged to his girlfriend. We both like her a lot so we’re really happy for them. This past weekend was a big deal for them: the meeting of the families. Both their sets of parents came down to the area for their first official meeting (or possibly their first meeting period; our friends have only been dating for about a year and their families don’t live in the area). “Did you get a chance to ask Rich how it went yet?” I asked Jon. “Nope,” Jon replied with a bit of a grimace. We … Continue reading →