Privacy vs. Secrecy: How to Foster Intimacy in Your Relationships

Information really is power; how, what, and when to share can have a far-reaching impact on our ability to foster intimacy in our relationships. It is almost a rite of passage, for instance, for a new couple to explore one another’s past—first loves, first kisses, and even the first big heartbreak. These conversations both require and build a significant level of trust, as they reveal how we act and react at our most vulnerable moments. So what does it mean when your partner refuses to share? It can mean many things; the problem, of course, is that we often assume … Continue reading

Have You Sworn Off Marriage (or other relationships)?

I’ve seen and talked to many people who swear they will never marry or never get married again, or even never have another serious relationship. In doing research for this column, I find entire websites devoted to not getting married or seriously involved. There’s nothing wrong with that, since it is of course a personal decision. However, it is a good idea to examine why you feel that way. For some, having been hurt badly in a previously relationship is enough to make them give up. This is an especially big issue for those who have been hurt many times. … Continue reading

Define Compatible in a Relationship

What defines a compatible relationship? We talked about the 5 most incompatible relationship types yesterday, so it seems somewhat appropriate to discuss what comprises a compatible relationship. There are three major components in a compatible relationship. These components include: Spiritual Physical Social These are the areas of self-definition and those self made definitions are important to your overall compatibility with another person. Spirituality has different levels of importance to different people. If you are a deeply spiritual person with very strong opinions and beliefs on holidays, prayer and baptism – then it’s likely you are going to be more compatible … Continue reading

The 5 Most Incompatible Relationship Types

More often than not, relationships don’t always work out and when they don’t, we try to categorize them into relationship types that are incompatible. My problems with these incompatibility thoughts are the fact that they, unlike the relationships themselves, work in sweeping generalities. Among relationship types, the following 5 are what are considered the most incompatible: Missionary Relationships Sacrificial Relationships Exotic Relationships Unequally Aged Relationships Rebellious Relationships So what defines these relationship types? Here is a little bit about these 5 most incompatible relationship types so you can understand the generalities they are talking about. Missionary relationships are defined as … Continue reading

Written in the Stars?

Are you and your spouse compatible? I’m not talking about your personalities; I’m talking about your horoscopes. According to the Chinese Zodiac, your birth year will determine your compatibility with your spouse. Click here to find all the information you need to determine your sign and that of all your loved ones. I was born in 1976, which is the year of the dragon. Under the dragon heading, it says that I am compatible with a monkey or a rat, but not with an ox or a goat. Guess what year my husband was born? 1960. And that makes him … Continue reading

Why It’s Important To Make a List of Qualities You Want in a Husband

In a previous article, one reader (Jade “The Muse” Walker) left the following comment: Years ago, I wrote a list of all the qualities and characteristics I wanted “the one” to possess. It had the usual items: intelligent, romantic, ambitious, independent, honest, faithful, funny, etc. But I forgot one that is vital to a lasting relationship. Understanding. If you plan to spend your life with someone, I highly recommend finding a partner who has this quality in spades. I also encourage everyone to develop it as well. As usual, Jade’s observations were not only astute but timely. It meshes well … Continue reading

What Would You Change about Him?

Just because you are married and in love with your spouse does not mean that you must love everything about him. No two people can be so completely compatible that there is not one thing that they wish were a little different about each other. So now that you are settled with the fact that it is okay to not like something about your husband and you can still love him, can you answer this question? If you could change one thing about your husband, what would it be? Give some serious though to this question. The answer could tell … Continue reading

Compatibility

Do you ever listen to those commercials on the radio and television about dating services that promise to find the mate that is compatible with you through tests and questions? They promise to match you up with someone who is just what you are looking for. While some of these services are far from what they claim, they do have the compatibility aspect right. You and your mate should be compatible. Being compatible does not mean that you must share all of the same likes and dislikes with no differences. In fact it does help if the two of you … Continue reading

The Marriage Week in Review – September 16-22

Welcome to the Week in Review for the Marriage blog. We’ve covered a lot of ground in the marriage blog this week. So let’s talk about our week in review. So let’s talk about the week in review: Saturday, September 16 The 5 Most Incompatible Relationship Types discussed how we categorize relationships that are incompatible and why we think they are. We also talked about how to Define Compatible in a Relationship and what three components make up a compatible relationship. Sherry asked the question of If You Could Do it Over, What Would You Do? She challenged you to … Continue reading

The Week in Review – September 9 – 15

Welcome to Saturday the 16th and a new feature for the Marriage Blog where we take a moment to review the stories we shared with you this week. We’ll give you a quick rundown on the day by day of the news stories and more that Sherry and I shared with you. September 9 Sherry shared with a great idea for Wedding Favors: Sealed with a Kiss that you can make yourself and it doesn’t cost much to create something so pretty. We also talked about Marriage in the News: Arranged Marriage Fraud about the immigration marriage scheme that was … Continue reading