Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Wifeby Courtney Mroch | More from this Blogger 29 Oct 2008 03:17 PM A couple of months ago I confessed that I was a stay-at-home wife and I explained how that had happened. I also admitted I was embarrassed about it, and laughed at an article that suggested stay-at-home wives were a new "trend." Oh yeah, for a while there I was on a stay-at-home wife kick. I plan to revisit the issue briefly with some confessions about my life as a stay-at-home wife. As usual, comments are welcomed. I'll be curious to hear what some of you have to say about this blog. Confession #1: Sometimes I Feel Guilty It's not like I sit at home all day lounging on the couch popping bon bon after bon bon into my mouth. I spend the majority of my days writing. Either for Families.com or my fiction. But there are days I feel guilty about the luxury of being able to pursue my dream and live this lifestyle. Either Wayne will come home exhausted from his job and too tired to do the things he loves to, or I'll see a hard working woman come home from a frenzied day on the job to have to tend her household. I can usually soothe my guilty complex with respect to Wayne by fixing him a nice meal, walking the dog for him and letting him go to bed early. (Or just by letting him go to bed if he's been working late.) As for the harried working mom...I have to remind myself she chose that destiny just as I chose mine. Not everyone would like to stay-at-home. Confession #2: "Do you ever worry that..." YES! However you might fill in that blank, I'm 99.9 percent positive I'd answer, "Yes!" Perhaps the biggest one I ever worry about is what will happen to me if something happens to Wayne. This fear is ignited every time he has to travel for work, like he did earlier this week. But I don't worry so much about how losing him would affect me financially. We put a contingency plan in place in case of such a thing. I do worry how I could ever go on without him. I hope I never have to find out! Confession #3: Could I Be Doing Something More Meaningful? This one gets to me. If I went to a nine-to-five job for the sake of bringing in more money, I wouldn't feel that was necessarily more meaningful. But I do wonder if there's a job out there where I could be helping people and earning a steady income. Or at least just helping people. But then a funny thing happened this year. After having my mom come live with us and going through all we went through with her, I now see how I can use that to help others. (By writing about it and the lessons I learned along the way.) Confession #4: The Resentment Factor Sometimes I worry Wayne will wake up one morning resenting me for having lived my dream when he never got a chance to. Not that he's had one burning desire his whole life like I have with writing, but maybe one day he will pinpoint his passion and want to pursue it. I keep hoping when that day comes I'll have become a financially successful author. One who can support her husband in the manner to which he'd like to become accustomed. Confession #5: I Probably Wouldn't Be a Stay-at-Home Wife for Anyone Else This one surprised me, because it just came out as I was writing this blog. But as I think on it, I probably wouldn't do all the things I do for Wayne for anyone else. See, the couple times we broke up pre-marriage and I dated others, I grew annoyed with them. For one, I knew Wayne was the one and those other boys were just diversions. But for another, I've never seemed to have the patience for other guys like I do for Wayne. Their little quirks quickly got on my nerves. I was happier being single. Which I might have stayed if Wayne hadn't come around and realized what I'd known all along: we were meant to be together. Related Articles Great Expectations - Housewives versus Career Wives Calling a Truce in the War of the Wives A Traditional, Yet Unconventional, Wife Learn more about Courtney Mroch  Courtney Mroch is a wife, a proud pet parent, and a writer. She's been with her husband, high school sweetheart Wayne Pryor, over 20 years, married 11 of those. She's "mom" to Mr. Meow, a.k. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments Raywit43 (5) 30 Sep 2009 07:29 PMI have been searching the web for an article like this. I, myself, am also a stay at home wife and struggle with all the issues that you said. I was never really planning on being a stay at home wife- But when I met my husband, he was very financially stable and made plenty of money for me to not work. My husband runs a very successful financial practice and I feel that my soul purpose is to support him just as much as he supports me. I think the common misconception is exactly what you listed above. the decision for my to stay home was completely decided by BOTH of us. I don't just sit around all day and do nothing but you are right, I DO get bored, plus I am constantly feeling insignificant- and it isn't by my husband, but by my friends. I'm trying to get to a point to where I am comfortable with being a stay at home wife. I was never planning on being retired at such a young age, but we do plan on starting a family sometime next year and then I feel like I will be more significant in this world. However, my husband enjoys our life and I have to say I do enjoy being able to hop up whenever and run an errand. As well as being able to take trips without putting in for time off. It's a fabulous luxury and I appreciate everything my husband does to give me this life. It was so nice to be able to relate to someone. I really appreciate your article. I often felt like I was the only stay at home mom in the world. Thanks again, Rachel Oakwood, OH CrystalDS (11) 28 Oct 2009 05:00 PMI just got married in Febuary. My husband and I have only been together for 2 years. I quit my job in June, with the permission and definite backing of my husband. He told me one day that if I didnt like my job that much then I should just quit, so a few months later I did. It was not worth the money the job was giving me to give up all the things I wanted to do. I never ever thought I would be a stay at home wife. We are not planning on having children for some time. I do enconter all the things you talk about above. My parents think I am wasting all my talents. My in-laws on the other hand think this is a wonderful thing. I think it is a cultural difference, you see I am very white and he is Spanish. They dont see it as weird, they think it is the right fit for a woman. I dont plan on doing this forever, I am in college pursuing a philosophy degree. I think it has helped me in a lot of ways though. I am a LOT more patient now, I guess I know I have the rest of my life in front of me so I let people cut in line or I spend the extra time to make my own pasta vs buying a bag sometimes. I know my husband LOVES it, he is so supportive and wonderful. He loves coming home to the smell of a home cooked meal. He loves how eager I am to hear about his day. He loves the dinner parties we can now have with his family and coworkers. I still have my girlfriends and I still keep in contact with some of my old coworkers and other students at the college so i am not totally socially deprived. I dont sit around all day, I have homework, I spend a lot of time searching for new recipies and new things I can do myself. I get an oppertunity to explore what it really is to be me. As you said you loved being single. I didnt date at all till my jounior year of high school, I loved being single. I love being me and my husband loves that too. I get a lot of questions from people and I do feel guilty and I get sad sometimes, but till I find a job that I truly love then what is better than being me. Thank you for the article. Community Tags confessions, marriage, stay-at-home wives, wives Discuss this article
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