Search Results for: blog communication in marriage

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Realistic Communication

Almost any article or book you read on communication will say this. If you want to be a good listener, you need to repeat back what the other person said. This not only validates what they have said. But it shows them you actually heard what they were saying. Then you can ask questions to help clarify what they meant and how they feel. It sounds like great advice, right? But does it work in real life? I have to admit that it sounds a little corny and unnatural. Imagine a scenario such as this. Your spouse says to you: … Continue reading →

Communication Breakdown

What do you do when your marriage has experienced a communication breakdown? It happens to the best of marriages, so it might be helpful to plan for these occasions ahead of time. I will admit it has been an issue in my marriage lately. When this happens it is almost always because of a stressor, particularly with our children. What we have been dealing with lately is a lot of emotional ups and downs, now that we are facing the departure of our oldest son. He will be leaving in just under three weeks for basic training in the Air … Continue reading →

Beauty and Marriage

Knowing I was a big fan of Elizabeth Taylor Mick mentioned early this morning that she had died. The world has lost a great actress. Her career spanned seven decades and who could forget her as a beguiling young beauty in National Velvet or her great roles as Virginia Woolf? She was also extremely beautiful but it seems that her beauty did not bring her great happiness. As well as being remembered for her acting, and winning two academy awards, she is synonymous in some people’s minds with marriage and divorce. Eight marriages included her marriage to and divorce from … Continue reading →

The Arts and Marriage- Part 2

Sometimes with the arts, it’s a matter of not making assumptions. Recently a friend made an assumption because her husband wouldn’t go to an arts event, no-one else’s husband would either. There’s always a danger and a problem with making blanket assumptions about people. Opportunity and trying new things can make the change. Mick found when he was willing to try live theatre, he liked it. He liked how it’s a different medium to movies and how actors, directors and stage technicians get around the scenery changes required. He also liked the immediacy of live theatre. But he wouldn’t have … Continue reading →

Communication – A Two Way Street

Communication is a two way street. It involves talking and listening. Sadly some people only seem to recognize the first part. They spend a lot of time talking but very little listening. Even when they are listening they may hear the words but they are not really taking them in. Why? Because they’re too busy getting defensive or already planning what they’re going to say next and just itching for the opportunity to jump back in and put forward their opinion. A common complaint from some wives is, ‘He never talks to me. He never tells me what’s going on.’ … Continue reading →

The Three R’s of Marriage

You are probably familiar with the “Three R’s” of education: Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic. Well I have come up with the “Three R’s” of marriage: Respond, React and Retreat. The only difference is that with my three R’s, there is just one that works well in a marriage. Can you guess which one? I don’t know if anyone else can relate but I tend to be a reactor. I have been working on this for several years and while I have gotten a lot better, it can still be an issue that creeps up. Sometimes when people react it is … Continue reading →

PMS and Marriage

Have you ever noticed that at a certain time of the month, your husband just starts doing everything he can to annoy you? He talks weird and he walks weird and he smells funny, and he leaves his socks on the floor and he doesn’t check the mail, and you can tell him something six times, and he doesn’t get it, and you just want to grab him by the neck and shake him? And then he looks at you and says, “Is it that time of the month?” which only makes you want to shake him more, because he’s … Continue reading →

Loving and Lasting Marriage Secrets

If you’ve made it to 60 years of marriage you’d surely have to figure you must be doing something right, wouldn’t you agree? This week a local couple from the South Coast of NSW celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. When asked the secret to the long and loving marriage David and Marie cited two aspects. They are communication and consideration. Does that sound familiar? It’s one of the things I’m always advocating too. Consideration means not just all those little common courtesies that are easily, and indeed often, overlooked in a marriage. Consideration also mean considering the feelings of your … Continue reading →

Ask a Marriage Blogger – Leading Causes of Divorce

A good friend of mine is getting married shortly, and she’s had a number of questions about marriage and how to cultivate a good relationship with her new husband. As we’ve conversed, she’s given me permission to share some of her questions, and my answers, with you. Q. What are the leading causes of divorce? A. This is a very natural question – divorce is so common these days, it’s almost impossible to contemplate marriage without wondering if it will end in divorce. As I look into it, the causes seem to largely be these. Poor communication – when one … Continue reading →