Chinese Weddings

by Gillian Markson | More from this Blogger

Chinese weddings are exuberant celebrations, but they are simultaneously very traditional and respectful. An American invited to a Chinese wedding might find themselves entirely lost in the sea of cultural traditions and norms. The superstitions surrounding the occasion are numerous. They may say or do something in good nature only to have it taken the wrong way. Following is a short guide to the most important differences and customs to keep in mind when attending a Chinese wedding.

In Chinese culture, red is the symbolic color for joy, luck, marriage, and protection from evil. This is why the bride wears red and - hint, hint - the most common wedding gift is money in a red envelope, known as Li Shi. If you are not close friends or family, any small and practical gift will do (i.e. wine, cigarettes, small cakes or candies) . However, do not give a fan as a gift! The Chinese pronunciation of fan is san, which means "disperse." This will be considered a bad omen.

Pregnant women and the recently bereaved should never attend a Chinese wedding or touch any of the belongings or clothing of the newlyweds. It is considered bad luck.

One phrase to remember is Bai Tou Xie Lao, which means, "May you two grow old together, and be each other's companions when your hairs are white." Another propitious phrase is Bai Nian Hao Ho, which means, "May you be and live happily together for a hundred years."

Chinese culture emphasizes the concept of soul mates. In fact, it is believed that the benevolent Chinese "god in the moonlight" ties a matching red string around the ankles of any man and woman that are meant to be together. This symbolic red anklet is believed to draw the specific man and woman together no matter how far apart they may be. In other words, don't expect to make a joke about bachelorette parties and be received very well.

Chinese weddings are characterized in part by the gigantic banquets that accompany them.

Some of the traditional Chinese items you can expect to see on the menu include: abalone and crab meat, baked lobster, shark fin soup, stir fried sea cucumber, honey walnut prawns, duck, dry scallops, mushrooms, steamed fish, rice, fruit, and cakes.

Don't feel like you need to bow or cup one hand in the other in salute. In modern Chinese culture, it is totally acceptable and more common to simply shake hands. Also, don't let the American stereotype of the Chinese as austere and humorless unfairly affect your behavior.

Joking, laughing, and casual talk are considered normal and appreciated behavior.

The most important thing to keep in mind at a Chinese wedding is to be respectful and wish the bride and groom luck in their lives together. Luck is extremely valued in Chinese culture, and it is considered in bad taste not to emphasize that your wishes for them to experience it.

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