Causes of Marriage Break Ups

by Dale Harcombe | More from this Blogger

15 Feb 2009 04:57 PM

Opposites attract but only up to a point. According to Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott,one of the main reasons many couples break up is that they have not enough in common. This can happen early in a marriage or even sometimes, as it seems recently in growing numbers, after the children have moved out of home. Couples find they have nothing in common. Nothing left to talk about.

A solution to this might be to take up a hobby or sport together. Before I broke my arm which has out me put of action for months, Mick and I played tennis regularly with a group of men and women. We also have a great interest in live theatre and in AFL (Australian football) as well as music, though at times our music taste is very dissimilar. But there are other times when it comes together. We also share a love of reading and even though we rarely read the same books, we can still always talk about what we are reading and points of interest. Yesterday I came across some interesting gardening tips in novel was reading about a woman with a landscape gardening business, so of course I shared them with Mick.

Gordon and Lee-Anne Twyford of Berry found Latin American dancing to be a hobby they could share. They have become so engrossed in their hobby they recently took part in the Australian Championships, and won one of the sections.

Another couple I know did a computer and desktop publishing course together. They were able to encourage each other through it, when one of them got stuck.

The other area that is a sticking point for people in marriage is when they realize that their religious beliefs or values are not aligned. This sometimes may not show up till after children arrive on the scene unless the couple is careful to discuss these topics before they get married which I would encourage.

Attitudes towards birth control and child rearing are also another sticking point for some couples, so talking this out beforehand is an advisable idea.

Another problem area is where one person is the relationship does not feel supported or encouraged by the other person or feels they are not being considered and listened to.

More thought and talking about tings beforehand will result in less stressful situations after the marriage takes place. It is a lot more stress and emotional upheaval to go through divorce than it is to break up before the marriage takes place if you decide things are incompatible.

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Learn more about Dale Harcombe

Dale has a passion for books and writing. She writes in various forms, from articles to poetry to fiction for children and adults.

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pastfirst (135) 17 Feb 2009 05:02 AM

Many couples stay together only for the sake of the children, and as soon as the kids grow up and fly fromt he nest, there is nothing tleft o keep the marriage together.

pastfirst (135) 17 Feb 2009 05:03 AM

Many couples stay together only for the sake of the children, and as soon as the kids grow up and fly from the nest, there is nothing tleft o keep the marriage together.

Dale Harcombe (10327) 17 Feb 2009 01:41 PM

That's why it's so important to keep working at our marriage all through the years and keep commincating and spending time together, so there is something left after the kids leave.

TheHeavenlyHusband (30) 21 Feb 2009 09:23 PM

Many people forget that in the Bible the spouse comes before even the children. The children are in the home for a time, your spouse is there for your lives together. Marriage is not a feeling, but a committment that must be worked on. We practice sports and train for careers but seldom to people seek out information on being a good husband or wife. We expect it to come natural. Marriage takes work and sometimes that work is not pleasant. Sometimes you have to swallow your words. Sometimes humility can be difficult but boy do you grow when you learn to deal with it.

Most people understand that love should be given without condition. Unconditional love. Few understand that respect is to be given unconditionally as well. If we would commit to God to treat our spouses right, then would would do so regardless of how are spouse is acting at the time.

Take a look a my newsletter www.theheavenlyhusband.com

Dale Harcombe (10327) 22 Feb 2009 01:43 PM

Yes, that's it. Our spouse is the one we committed to for life before the children came on the scene. But we need to work at maintaining that relationship in the busy, stressful times.