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Finding Your Strength

I have a dear friend who has struggled through an abusive marriage. After finding the courage to separate from him she found herself pregnant with twins and went back in hopes of keeping her family together, despite her controlling husband. As I watched her struggling to keep things together I couldn’t help but think of my own separation experience. I remembered that desperation to keep my family together, I can only imagine if I had found myself pregnant in the midst of that. It brings on a whole new set of trials. In the beginning I would have taken him … Continue reading →

Help for Living with an Unbeliever

Stephanie raised an interesting point in her article about being careful what you share with others. This is especially important in the case of an unbelieving spouse. A lot of damage can be done when the unlebelivign spouse finds out their situation is being talked about and prayed about by others. You may see it I as concern, but it can tend to make them feel they are being judged by you and those others and found wanting. Sop keep confidentiality and don’t divulge too much of your personal situation and relationship with your spouse. On the other hand, you … Continue reading →

Physical Abuse Can Go Both Ways

We all know that it’s not right for a man to hit his wife. There are all kinds of protective agencies and laws in place, shelters for abused women, support groups that meet both online and in person. This is how it should be, but what about marriages in which the wife is abusive to the husband? It does happen. Most of the time, the husband is physically stronger than the wife, and if he’s the abuser, he can inflict a lot more damage. He can break her arms and ribs, give her concussions and bruises, and even cause wounds … Continue reading →

What is Your Marriage Worth?

Can you put a monetary value on happiness? Apparently you can, according to Professor Paul Frijters. The man, named best Australian Economist under 40 years of age, has attempted to put a monetary value on major events in people’s lives. What is interesting when you read the figures he has come up with is the difference between how major events affect women and men. Take marriage for example. The monetary value Professor Frijters has on marriage for a woman is +$15,600. The monetary value of marriage for a man is pegged at +$31,600. The monetary value of the birth of … Continue reading →

Are You to Blame for Your Spouse’s Affair?

If your spouse has an affair with someone else, should you take some of the blame? One issue that I see coming up in the forums often enough to be a concern is the subject of having a spouse who cheats. In many of the posts, the spouse who is being cheated on wants t figure out what he or she did wrong in the relationship to cause the cheating. There are many things in a married relationship that can lead to cheating. Often women cheat because they are feeling neglected or unloved. Men tend to cheat to increase their … Continue reading →

Marriage in a Disposable Society?

Are we susceptible to the disposable society syndrome? Last week we went to look at the price of a new printer. The printer we were looking at was $99AU. The printer cartridge to go in it was $219AU! ‘That’s ludicrous,’ I said. ‘It’d be cheaper just to keep buying a new printer.’ Mick agreed, it’s a crazy system. It made me think we have become a disposable society. Sadly that attitude carries over into our marriages as well. It sometimes seems when couples strike a rough patch and things aren’t going well or the gloss has gone off the marriage … Continue reading →

Seven Habits That Will Harm Your Marriage

Avoiding the following seven habits may also help you avoid a divorce. Psychiatrist William Glasser, MD and his wife, Carleen Glasser, MA, co-authored a marriage advice book called Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage. In the book, they mention “seven deadly habits” (they like numbers, it seems) that can lead to marital strife. They are: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing. It seems sometimes in our marriages that we don’t even realize that we are doing some of these things–hence the fact that they are habits I suppose. While I haven’t read the Glasser’s take on these myself, … Continue reading →

Beware If Your Pet Gets Hurt During a Kennel Stay

Just as Aimee (and most of us pet owners) experiences separation anxiety when she has to be away from her pets for an extended length of time, so do I. But after what happened this last time we went away and came home from vacation to a hurt Murphy who needed surgery on his paw, I’m going to be even more anxious. And not at all inclined to entrust my Murph to any kennel. A Lesson in Responsibility Wayne and I learned very fast that the kennel was not going to accept any responsibility for Murph’s injury without us pressing … Continue reading →

When He Refuses Marriage Counseling 3

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Today I have been discussing one extreme measure that a woman can take to get her husband to attend marriage therapy with her. This method is described by Dr. Patricia Allen in one of her books. The first step of the method is to write a five paragraph letter to your husband. The second step is to leave and give him two times that you will call. I left off with the first call. During this call you can expect that he will likely either be angry or sad. However no matter how badly that you want to or no … Continue reading →

The Marriage Blog Week in Review for December 31 – January 6

The New Year has officially begun! But in case you were too busy last week ringing it in (or recovering from ringing it in), here’s your Week in Review so you won’t have to wonder what Lyn and I wrote about. Monday, December 31 Resolving to Make the Best of Marriage in ‘08 My goals for the Marriage Blog in 2008 included accentuating the positive and figuring out which tools to use to have the best marriage possible. Tuesday, January 1 Personality Differences in Relationships Lyn examined how personality differences can sometimes cause marriages to fail, but they don’t have … Continue reading →