Building a Hedge Around Your Marriageby Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger 23 Dec 2008 12:37 PM
Did you know that 70 percent of all married men and 60 percent of all married women have had affairs? This information comes from Dr. Holly Hein, author of the book, Sexual Detours. That translates roughly into only one out of three marriages where the husband and the wife are completely faithful to each other. Those odds are awful. One of the things you and your spouse can do to protect your marriage and each other is to voluntarily put up that hedge around it. Notice that I did not say wall. You can still see through or over the hedge if you wish, and it is not a wall trapping you inside. it is simply a boundary to prevent someone outside of your marriage from getting too close. I'll give you a good example from my own life. I became friendly with another dad. We would usually see each other with our kids at the park or around the neighborhood. I found him pleasant to talk with, and I would classify him as attractive. Soon, it became apparent that he was lonely and needed support. He was separating from his wife and dealing with other family issues which I won't detail. Later, it felt as though he wanted to become a bit closer to me. While all he may have needed was a friend to lean upon, I had to stand behind my hedge and redirect him elsewhere. Although I felt badly for him, I could not be that close support person in his life. My husband needs me more. When you build a hedge around your marriage it encloses you and your spouse together and prevents intimacy, especially sexual or emotional intimacy, with someone other than your partner. In essence, you are preventing the circumstances for an affair to develop. Make sense? Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here. Related Articles: How to Give a Special Gift to Your Spouse Frugal Gift Basket: Romance at Home Appreciating Your Spouse's Friendships Learn more about Mary Ann Romans  Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments jonesx6 (1606) 23 Dec 2008 02:59 PMWow! 1 in 3 seems so high! Laura  Mary Ann Romans (26886) 26 Dec 2008 06:04 AMI was shocked by the number, too. What do you think is causing them to be so high? Dwayne ONeil (15) 27 Dec 2008 08:39 AMThanks for the personal testimony! You could see ahead enough, to realize the potential for trouble and you acted on it immediately.....thankfully! The 'love' that allows us to...death to us part..., is a deliberate act of will to be totally commited to that one person, on matter what! That is the kind of love that Jesus gives to us, the love that made it possible to do what He did on our behalf. Wow! teachforever (30) 28 Dec 2008 07:40 PMGreat blog. Couples have to do preventive maintenance in their marriage relationship. Take a look at an article that I wrote to explain further. http://www.ehow.com/how_2242613_affair-proof-marriage.html Community Tags commitment, emotional affair, faithfulness, long lasting marriages, love and respect, preventing infidelity, sexual affair Discuss this article
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