Avoid Nitpicking for a Happier Marriageby Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger 28 Apr 2009 12:09 PM Some people raise nitpicking to an art form. For these individuals, they expect the best, or at least things done the way that they think they should be done, and will settle for no less. But even with couples that are easy going, some nitpicking can sneak in. We are all capable of it, but if you want to have a happy marriage, you should avoid the nitpicking at all costs. Nickpicking nearly drove me insane in a previous relationship with a man who was otherwise very loving, attentive, intelligent and who could make me laugh. He tended to criticize everything little thing that was done on a daily basis, from how to measure out coffee to where to place the television remote control. When confronted with the nitpicking, his response was that he knew he was always right. While I am easy going enough to laugh that all off, I admit that there were times when I felt like throwing whatever object we we discussing out of the window, including the washing machine when I was told I wasn't adding the detergent correctly. Recognizing the fact that you are nitpicking is the first step to eliminating the practice, and if you do tend to nitpick, I bet your spouse will be grateful for any effort you make to stop doing it. My own urge to nitpick usually involves one main area of our lives, the children. Okay, so this is a large, but I recognize the temptation triggers. Since I am home during the day, and well, let's face it, these kids came out of my body and then physically derived nourishment from that body, I tend to think I know the best way to change a diaper, sooth a bump and get them to bed. But I also realize that my husband is quite capable of doing things, even if they are not exactly the way that I do them. And nitpicking wouldn't add any joy to our lives. Do you nickpick? Does your spouse? Tell me your story. Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here. Related Articles: Attack the Issue, Not Each Other The Gift of Unconditional Acceptance For a Good Marriage, Avoid the Story Telling Learn more about Mary Ann Romans  Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat. Relevantmarriage tags User Comments Tashi (1013) 28 Apr 2009 12:38 PMWow, I'm glad you got away from your previous nitpicker! Some people would see the sun rise, and still argue that it didn't come up at the right angle or spot in the sky, and then yell at it to shape up. An extreme example, sure. I have a relative who nitpicks everything I do, and even calls me names. It's not right. But I have learned to brush it off as much as I can, and "kill them with kindness", even when inside, I want to scream lots of things in retaliation. But why lower myself to their level? I'm fine with myself, and I realize that that person's ire is rooted in *their* issues, and isn't because of *me*. AggieGal (60) 29 Apr 2009 10:14 AMI used to be, but it backfired. I didn't like how my husband loaded the dishwasher. When I mentioned (in what I thought was a nice, calm way) that maybe he should put the dishes in the way I wanted, he just stopped doing it altogether. That was my wake up call. I needed to be grateful for the things he did, even if it isn't my way. Today he'll should be cleaning the bathroom floor while he's home...and I'm just glad it's him doing it and not me :)  Mary Ann Romans (26886) 30 Apr 2009 04:05 AMAggie, that is the same tactic I started taking when the nitpicking got really bad. I would just stop doing whatever it was he was nitpicking about. Good for you for recognizing the practice and changing! Community Tags marriage, marital trouble, nitpicking, relationship Discuss this article
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