Search Results for: blog are you walking hand in hand in your marriage

How Do You Define PDA?

Recently my volunteering friends and I discussed PDA (public displays of affection).  My two friends talked about their husbands’ discomfort with PDA.  Well, I could relate to that: it tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable.  But then I learned that what they meant by PDA was hand-holding, hugs, a quick kiss. My one friend said it took her husband years before he would hold her hand in public.  The other said that when she and her husband meet up somewhere, when her husband arrives all the other women in the room get a hug, or sometimes even a … Continue reading →

Changing My Name

By now I’m sure that you can tell that feminist issues are a very big deal for me. It even took a bit of coaxing from my parents for me to walk down the aisle with my dad; I did it for him, because it was important to him, but I don’t like the idea of being passed off from one man’s hands to another. Yet one thing about my decisions related to my married life really stands out: I took my husband’s name. I’ll admit it rankled a little, just the idea that I erase a part of myself … Continue reading →

Could You Trust Your Husband?

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I wonder how many Mother’s Day, anniversary or birthday presents husbands have bought for their wives end up tucked away in the back of a cupboard, never to see the light of day or on their way back to the shop? Could you trust your husband to buy you an item or clothing, a handbag, a piece of jewelry, a CD or book you would like? Mick constantly astounds friends and acquaintances of ours by being able to buy clothes for me that not only fit but look nice, that I feel comfortable wearing as they are colors and styles … Continue reading →

Sleeping with Another

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When you’ve been used to sleeping on your own, sleeping with another person can be an interesting experience. It can at times be frustrating, it can be comforting or it can be a lot of fun. I suspect Mick hasn’t found it too much fun sharing a bed with me the last few weeks. Because of the pain in my back I have been very restless. Turning over in bed, turns into a major exercise. Of course we could choose to have separate beds. We do have another double bed in the house but he’d rather put up with the … Continue reading →

Loving an Angry Man

I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my husband early in our relationship regarding his anger issues. I was trying to ascertain whether or not he understood the impact his volatile temper had on his personal and professional life. When I realized that he didn’t necessarily consider his anger a negative attribute, I asked him, “How do you figure your temper helps you?” His answer was swift and decisive: “People are afraid of me, so they usually do what I want.” He was a little slower in answering my next question: “And how does it hurt you?” Like most … Continue reading →

Marriage in the Floodwaters

Every marriage encounters obstacles and hard times. The difference is some people are better at handling them than others. So you are stuck in the floodwaters, now what can you do? To continue the floodwaters analogy, you could just try treading water and wait till the waters subside. The trouble is you might just go under in the process. So what else can you do? The best solution is to try and find a way out of or around the problem. This is where being able to talk about to with your spouse and get to the root cause of … Continue reading →

Marriage is not a Prison

A recent article gave ‘the best ten destination spots before you sign your life away.’ If that’s the way people think about marriage, no wonder marriages are in trouble. This attitude is treating marriage like it is a prison and you need to get all you can out of life before you take the plunge. All I can say is that is not my experience. Marriage to me is freedom. It is about the freedom to love one person in an exclusive relationship. Marriage is freedom to be yourself and to know that you are loved for yourself. You can … Continue reading →

Why Colonial Divorce Records Are Hard to Locate

Genealogy research can be as frustrating as it can be exhilarating. There are a lot of different websites that will help you find the birth record, or death record of your ancestors. However, trying to find the record that shows that your ancestors became divorced is another matter entirely. Part of the problem with finding divorce records is because in years past divorce was seen as a scandalous event, and so, it might be covered up. Another problem comes from how the original records of divorce were recorded. In the past couple of decades or so, divorce has ceased to … Continue reading →

Know Yourself

Before you can hope to have a great marriage and a lasting relationship, you have to know not only your partner but yourself. You have to know what things you can cope with and what will drive you up the wall. I admit, because of something that’s happened recently, not in my marriage but in a community organization I belong to, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, so to speak. In the process I’ve realized a few things about myself. I may not always like what I see, and I don’t at times, but I realize there are … Continue reading →

Tips for Making Marriage Work

Yesterday we looked at the concept of making marriage work. Here are some tips to help make marriage work. Pick the right person. It sounds obvious, but too often people are blinded by love or physical attraction and don’t put enough thought into whether they are compatible, whether they have enough interests in common, whether they have the same beliefs. It’s no good going into marriage and then expecting to change the other person. It won’t happen. All that will happen is you end up making you and your spouse miserable. So make sure you can live with other person’s … Continue reading →