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10 Jan 2006 04:18 PM

Are you the Giver or the Taker in Your Marriage Relationship?

by Ariala | More from this Blogger

Although marriage is supposed to be a mutual relationship of give and take, it seems some marriages emerge with a giver and a taker. This natural process is often determined by who is more dominant and who is more submissive in the relationship. Personality has a lot to do with.

The fact that one person may be more the giver and another more the taker doesn't mean it doesn't change and shift at times. The taker may become the giver and the giver becomes the taker during certain circumstances. Roles change, people adapt. The main thing is that both feel comfortable in the position they hold at the time.

Sometimes, however, the taker becomes impossible to deal with. He may become demanding and expect things be given to him on a silver platter. She may feel that she deserves more and won't be happy until it's given to her. Takers can be very selfish when indulged. The giver needs to be aware and not let such a monster get his or her way.

The best marriages are a combination of give and take. Even if one personality is more dominant, that person needs to compromise and give in at times. The submissive person needs to assert his or her needs and desires as well. Being taken advantage of is not fun, nor necessary, especially in a marriage relationship.

If you do find that you're comfortable being the giver, be sure that your needs are being met and that you are appreciated for all you do, otherwise, you might experience resentment down the line. Sharing tasks around the house and with the kids or relatives can help bring balance.

If you happen to be the taker, be sure to let your spouse know how much you appreciate everything they do. Surprise them with gifts or by doing something special for them. Become the giver for a while and experience life from the other side. If you're married to someone who refuses to let you take that role, do it anyway. It may just be the break they need.

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