Search Results for: blog are you eroding your marriage

Harming Your Marriage?

Could your electric blanket be harming your marriage? Perhaps it’s not something you’ve thought about. Would you be prepared to give it up, if it was causing problems? While I’m not against modern appliances and certainly enjoy the benefits of some conveniences, like heating now there is a nip in the air here in Australia, I do wonder about electric blankets. No, we don’t have an electric blanket and have never had one. Quite simply we’ve never felt the need. I always tell people ‘I married mine.’ When we moved to the colder climate of Orange, people told us we’d … Continue reading →

How Much Honesty in Marriage?

How much honesty should there be in a marriage? That’s one topic that has come up a couple of times recently in the forums and on comments on blogs. One of our families.com members found out that her husband already had a child from another relationship while they were already together. Now she feels betrayed and wonders if she can trust her husband any more and whether her marriage has a future. This is one of those things that should have been mentioned well before the marriage. It is understandable too, that the person, whose spouse has been unfaithful and … Continue reading →

How to Get Your Marriage in Better Shape

You’ve heard the old adage ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away,’ but how about,’a compliment a day keeps divorce away.’ Okay, maybe that’s a tad simplistic but the general principle, of making a habit each day of complimenting your spouse for something they have done or for some quality you love about them, is sound. E.g. I might say to Mick,‘I really appreciate the way you support me and come to events where I’m singing even though sometimes it’s boring.’ At the supermarket the other day a woman packing the bag jokingly said to me, ‘That’s for Muscles … Continue reading →

Dealing with Irritations and Problems in Marriage

How important are the little things in marriage? They are very important. It is often the little things which when ignored can become monumental problems in marriage. The other day we were listening to 60s song on the local community radio station. And Mick made the comment it’s often the little things that end up over time being the straw that breaks the camel ‘back. The little things about that their spouse does that start to drive a husband or wife crazy. So of course, I asked whether there were things I do that annoy him. The two he mentioned … Continue reading →

Changing Patterns in Marriage

As you look through the kaleidoscope of marriage, you will see changing patterns. Firstly there is the honeymoon stage, where you’re so in love and it’s all new and exciting. But not everyone finds the first year of marriage to be exciting. Some people find it decidedly stressful as they adapt to a marriage partner. This is followed, for most people, by the pattern of one or more children. Again that will depend on circumstances and what the couple decide. Children are a great blessing, but they also mean changes and added stress in a marriage. Sometimes a husband can … Continue reading →

Are You Eroding Your Marriage?

Negative comments and nagging can have a similar result on a marriage as wind and waves to on a rock – they erode it. The photo below, which Mick took, is of Australia Rock, in Narooma,NSW. When I was a child my Mom always told me, ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.’ It’s better to be quiet. Often when Mick and I are watching a movie or a sitcom, we see the couple having an argument. Then they start to make up and you can see it coming, the guy adds another comment that re-sparks the argument … Continue reading →

Is It Ever Right to Lie?

Is it ever right to lie in a marriage? Recently on the TV show ‘Lie to Me’ they were talking about the different ways of lying and that most people tell white lies. Should we differentiate and try to make some lies seem less serious than others. Why might you or your spouse lie? Sometimes it can be to spare the other person’s feelings. She asks, ‘what’s the matter?’ You don’t want to answer because you’re frightened it will only lead to an argument or to tears. So you shrug and say nothing. Is that any less hurtful? You ask … Continue reading →

Look At the Family

Years ago I remember someone saying if a guy is considering marriage he needs to look at the girl’s Mom, because that’s what he could be looking at years down the track. Now the problem with that is that it is very stereotypical and as Angela pointed out in a comment on another blog, people don’t always follow the stereotypes. The key here is always because often they do. So it’s worth while taking a good long look at the family your intended comes from. It might alert you to problems. For example, years ago I knew a guy whose … Continue reading →

What Makes People Get Married?

What makes people get married? From comments I’ve had recently on certain articles and from discussions in the forum, I have to wonder what makes people get married. When I read or listen to what some people say about their spouse, I have to wonder why they married them at all. Did the person change so much after they were married as though had been putting up a front and then suddenly let down their guard? Did they not take enough time to get to know the person and went solely on a physical attraction – more lust than love? … Continue reading →

Sapping Self-Confidence

Are you sapping your spouse’s self-confidence and creating problems in your marriage? Recently I experienced an example of how negativity and negative comments can affect performance. It was on the tennis court. I was not playing with Mick since he’s not back to tennis yet since his health problems and would never have behaved like this anyway. The person I partnered in one set was so negative that an air of tension pervaded the court. I was all the time conscious of the negative vibes coming from my partner. The result was I became tentative in my shot making, found … Continue reading →