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Appreciating Your Spouse's Friendships

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

21 Dec 2008 12:00 PM

phone Last night as we sat down to dinner, the phone rang. We had a long day out wrapping up the Christmas shopping and doing a huge bulk session of grocery shopping to fill our freezer and be prepared for the coming winter months when getting out of the driveway is sometimes impossible.

Needless to say, the kids were tired, hungry and cranky, and I had just dropped a box of organize shelf-stable chocolate milk on my toes, trying to get it down the basement stairs.

So, my first instinct was to ignore the phone, but my husband got to it first. It was his best friend who has the uncanny timing of calling during dinner time, when we are putting the kids to bed or when a child is violently throwing up.

My first instinct was to roll my eyes, and my second instinct was to give a dirty look. My third instinct was to make a sarcastic remark. When my daughter spilled her entire glass on milk on the table as he happily chatted away, I was about ready to throw the phone out of the window and scream for help. Thankfully, I didn't do any of those things.

After cleaning up the mess and making sure the kids all had food, drinks and utensils that weren't being used to stab the wooden table, I calmed down. I started listening to my husband's end of the conversation and the excitement in his voice that his friend was doing so well after having a period of upheaval. And while it is easy to have the attitude of "claiming" my husband for myself and our children, the reality is that there is a need for other people in his life. The loyalty and kindness that he shows a long time friend is the same loyalty that makes him such a great husband and father.

I have things about this friend that I can't appreciate, such as his unwillingness to be there for my husband during a family crisis, and the way he makes rude remarks about women. But my husband assures me that good guy underneath it all. And my husband's judgement is something that I can appreciate.

Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.

Related Articles:

How to Give a Special Gift to Your Spouse

The 60-40 Rule

Frugal Gift Basket: Romance at Home

 
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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans
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Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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User Comments

jonesx6 (1606) 22 Dec 2008 06:30 AM

Yup I totally understand what you wrote about. I at times feel the same way. Laura

Mary Ann Romans (26876) 22 Dec 2008 08:10 AM

Thanks!

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