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Rule Number 3: Change is a Catch-22

Change is one thing every relationship is going to encounter. Perhaps my fellow blogger Heather Long summed it up best when she answered a reader’s question with the sage words: change is inevitable. What is Change? The word “change” has a lot of meanings. I never realized that until I started writing this and looked it up in my Webster’s. It can mean change as in currency. Or an action, like changing your clothes or types of transportation (like changing from a subway train to a bus). But change as it applies to a relationship can have utterly different meanings. … Continue reading →

Answering Questions: Change is Inevitable

I’ve talked about change here plenty of times and I’ve said that change is inevitable. We all change. We all make different decisions and do different things. But I saw a question posted to one of my blogs on Marriage and Religion that made me do some thinking. I suppose I could go and just answer the question in the comments, but I wanted to really focus my answer – so the question was: I need some good advice. My husband and I have both grown up in the same religion, and even married in it. Recently, he told me … Continue reading →

Marriage and Spiritual Quests

Are you and your spouse of the same faith? Did you convert to his religion in order to marry, or did she convert to yours? (If you came from different ones.) Or maybe neither of you had one before marriage and adopted one together. Or maybe you didn’t. Right after Wayne and I first got married I’d pass churches and feel guilty I didn’t have a religion. “Maybe we should see about finding a church?” I once ventured. “Maybe we shouldn’t. Why start going now anyway? You never wanted to before.” I couldn’t put my finger on what was happening … Continue reading →

Wives Who Work From Home – Schedules, Spouses & Stop Signs

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As we continue our series on wives who work from home we’re addressing another issue that was brought up in the comments. How do we keep our spouses from steamrolling the schedules we make for ourselves? Spontaneity is a great thing, but if you set a schedule, make appointments and have deadlines, there is nothing more frustrating than your spouse blithely turn your schedule upside down because they made appointments or decided to take the day off and want you to go somewhere with them. Put Up the Stop Signs First and foremost, assume that your spouse has no idea … Continue reading →

How to …. Compromise

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Compromise is difficult at the best of times and when you add passion, love and strong-minds to the mix then you may discover that compromise falls into the pretty words category. From our first steps to our mornings in Kindergarten to growing up, we’re required to compromise or lose out on friends, social events and in some cases even grades. Guide to Compromise As a parent now, I know I am talking to my daughter all the time about compromising all the time and that there are a few things that I am always saying to her. I can’t think … Continue reading →

The Three F’s Of Marriage

Have you ever heard of the three F’s? Well, that’s okay I’ll tell you about them right now. Recently I had a discussion with my mother that resulted in an epiphany for me. We were discussing something that had to do with my husband and she asked me if he was going to mind something we’d done in the yard and I commented, well if he did, we’d have to fight about it and figure it out. She frowned and looked very concerned and when I asked what was wrong, she said that she didn’t like conflict and she didn’t … Continue reading →

When You Have to Argue

The title of this blog may puzzle you a bit, after all, when do you have to argue? I would actually say, that in the healthiest of marriages – arguments are as much a part of it as holding hands, hugging and sharing meals together. Arguments do not have to be fights, in fact, the best arguments aren’t fights. Arguments Can Be Mentally Stimulating A good argument can be debating the merits of a novel or how to plan the garden out for the spring planting. A good argument can be a healthy debate over the merits of one spouse’s … Continue reading →

How Do I Get Closer to My Loved One?

Are you loved? Do you love? I bet you do. After all, you’re reading the marriage blog and whether you are married, have been married or desire to be married – then you are likely familiar with the concept of love and you do love. When we love someone, whether that someone is our husband, our wife, our child, our parents, our siblings or our friends, we want to be close to them. We want to foster that closeness and deepen it, if possible. In my experience, I’ve been very close to some people and that closeness has waxed and … Continue reading →

Relationship Advice: Make Your Opportunities

It’s true, throughout our lives people come into and go out of our lives. They touch us, for a brief moment or they stay with us for decades. Each relationship gives you a unique gift and connects us to the rest of the universe. Sometimes those relationships change us – the changes are not always perceptible and we they may not always be expected, but they do happen. Changes Can Improve Us We make changes in our relationships and ourselves in a couple of different ways. The changes can take place gradually over time and be imperceptible to you until … Continue reading →

How to Start the Conversation

For many people, religion is a must do and for some it’s not. While you may find this hard to believe, for some people the religious component in their marriage is not something they discuss. There could be a variety of reasons for this, from the fact that religion is deeply personal to them and they practice privately. I have known many successful marriages where this is the case. Is Religion Important to You? If religion is important to you, if it’s important for you and your spouse to share that journey, then there are things that two of you … Continue reading →