Search Results for: blog agreeing to disagree1

Divorce: A Bad Word

I will never forget when my children were younger and a neighbor child rang my doorbell to inform me that my son (who was about 7 years old at the time) had said a “bad” word.  “Really?” I responded.  “What did he say?” You could tell this kid was proud of himself, sure that after he told me, my son would be getting into some really big trouble.  Loudly he declared, “He said,” but then he barely whispered, “hell.”  I had to bend over to hear the word. Well as it turned out my son was apparently relaying a message … Continue reading →

What Couples Argue About

I was recently reading an article from 2011 that listed the top 10 things that married couples fight about. What I was expecting wasn’t what I read. I was thinking more along the lines of fighting about finances, the raising of the children, and in-laws. But this list was quite surprising. For instance, one of the fights is about stubble in the sink. I am blessed enough to have a son and husband who shaves and doesn’t know how to wash their stubble down the drain (note the sarcasm). But have I ever gotten into a fight with my husband … Continue reading →

Pick Your Battles

I’m a firm believer and I have blogged about picking your battles when it comes to raising teenagers. But I think the same can be said about a marriage. In fact, it seems that we tend to be a bit more nit-picky in our marriages than in any other relationship. Slight irritations can be made into huge deals. Those things we knew about our spouse when we married them suddenly becomes impossible to live with another day. But many of those irritations and frustrations we may experience in a marriage are just not worth the battle. You know the old … Continue reading →

Is It Really ALL Bad?

Have you ever reached that point in marriage where it seems like everything is bad? Things just aren’t going well or they aren’t going the way you had expected. Take the time to ask yourself…is it really ALL bad? Here is what tends to happen in these situations. We are so focused on the “bad” we fail to see the good. I have been there…many times. Throughout the course of 20 years of marriage, there have been ups and there have been downs. What I especially remember in my earlier years of marriage is that thinking during the downs it … Continue reading →

Different Isn’t Wrong

For several weeks my husband and I have been attending a class based on a book called, “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. The basis of his teaching is the importance of the wife respecting her husband and the husband loving his wife. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the wife shouldn’t love the husband or the husband respect the wife, but he talks about how men and women differ in their relationships. One of the things he repeats over and over again in the video series we are watching is that different isn’t wrong. I think that’s an important … Continue reading →

When Children Test Your Marriage

Throughout all the years of my marriage, arguing about the raising of our children has never been an issue. We have always been in agreement. We have the same values and standards. I consider this to be a good thing, since the raising of the children is one of the more common areas that couples argue about. However…well, things have slightly changed now that they are teenagers. Suddenly it’s not so easy. Raising teenagers is like walking a very fine line. Sometimes you really don’t know how to balance the scales. Some things you say yes to, other things you … Continue reading →

Can You Really Put Your Spouse Before Your Children?

Have you ever been told that your spouse should be put before your children? Do you think that is even possible? I used to believe that was impossible. I looked at my relationship with my children as being so much more connected because they had come from me. Yet I had forgotten that I wasn’t alone in the process of creating life. My husband is just as much connected to them. I also thought that because they were so little for so long, what they needed from me couldn’t possibly be less than what I would give to my husband. … Continue reading →

Learning How to Listen

While we might think that communication is a skill we naturally develop, that isn’t necessarily true. Some of us could actually use a class on how to effectively communicate. A few years ago when I was pursuing a degree in education, I took a class on communication. I was surprised to learn some of the things that I struggled with. I didn’t realize how much I interrupt people and I also didn’t realize how the tone of my voice came across sometimes. There were times in the past when my husband would say that I was talking “down” to him … Continue reading →

The Critical Spirit

Nothing is worse than the spirit of criticism. When criticism is all you hear, eventually you will get to the point where you won’t even try anymore. I recall the earlier years of our marriage when my husband would attempt to “help” around the house or cook dinner. Or even when our children were younger and he would get them ready. All I would end up seeing is the spot he missed, the overcooked noodles and the mismatched clothes my children were wearing. Yes, I had a very critical spirit. That’s because my expectations were more important than my husband’s … Continue reading →

Guard What You Share With Others

This past week I was able to attend a group for women at my church. Our pastor’s wife did a teaching on marriage that was very inspiring. At the end you participated in a table discussion with the ladies you were sitting with. There was a list of questions that were designed to get you thinking positively about your spouse. However one woman in particular seemed insistent on dominating the conversation and it wasn’t very positive. She was going on and on about all the wrong things her husband was doing. Now it’s not that I don’t have sympathy for … Continue reading →