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Disagreements in Parenting

One area that is well-known to be a source of contention for many married couples is the raising of the children. Oftentimes couples come from different types of homes and take from that into their own parenting. If the couple has a completely different idea on how to raise the children, this can cause strife that lasts for years. It can also become part of the reason that a marriage falls apart. Surprisingly, this has not been a huge issue for my husband and me. Despite our vastly different upbringing, we have gone into our parenting with the same mindset. … Continue reading →

Agreeing to Disagree

Sometimes in a marriage all you can do is agree to disagree. There are some topics that both the husband and wife may feel very strongly about and there may be no possibility of changing the other’s mind. That’s okay. That is what makes us unique. While it’s not a novel concept I do think it is one that is overlooked far too often, agreeing to disagree. It’s almost in the nature to want to “convince” someone that we are right or that they should see our side. I’m afraid that I spent way too many married years doing this. … Continue reading →

Agreeing on the Things that Matter

He likes football. She can’t stand it. He likes motorcross racing. The noise gives her a headache. She likes watching romantic movies. He’d rather die. She likes going hiking. He feigns a bad back whenever she suggests it. In every marriage, you’ll find that you have differences. This is part of what keeps your relationship spicy. Imagine if you were married to someone exactly like you … I think you’d get pretty bored, pretty fast. After all, if you were the only person you needed, why get married? We marry, in part, to bring other thoughts and ideas into our … Continue reading →

How To Handle Disagreements – Part 2

So, you’re finding yourself at odds with someone in your church, family or neighborhood. What can you do about it? Someone once said that ‘the faults we notice most in others are those we have ourselves.’ So before we start criticizing and trying to sort out the other person and their thinking and attitudes, it’s a good idea to look at our own lives and ask the Lord to show us what needs to be changed there. Too often we are reluctant to do that. But that’s what growing as a Christian is all about, changing to become more like … Continue reading →

Agreeing to Disagree

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When it comes to marriage and problems, sometimes couples get too focused on winning an argument. The simple truth is when you focus on winning an argument – you are both deciding that one of you will be the loser. This is especially true when you are in the early years of a marriage. There is More than One Truth When we talk about arguments, it’s usually because the parties involved have different viewpoints. Your perspective and your perception are two of the main ingredients in determining not only how you feel about a matter, but also how you define … Continue reading →

Debt and Marriage: How It is Tough to Love When You Owe

Many couples enter into a marriage with debt already in hand. Others accumulate debt together. Either way, nurturing a loving relationship can be hard when debt is hanging over your head. In fact, according to a study by Jeffrey Dew at Utah State University, couples who reported disagreeing about finance once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances only a few times a month. Another inference can be made from this study: there is a whole lot of disagreement about money out there. Debt is a source of contention. … Continue reading →

Divorce: A Bad Word

I will never forget when my children were younger and a neighbor child rang my doorbell to inform me that my son (who was about 7 years old at the time) had said a “bad” word.  “Really?” I responded.  “What did he say?” You could tell this kid was proud of himself, sure that after he told me, my son would be getting into some really big trouble.  Loudly he declared, “He said,” but then he barely whispered, “hell.”  I had to bend over to hear the word. Well as it turned out my son was apparently relaying a message … Continue reading →

Arguing Your Way to Divorce?

Although infidelity is probably one of the biggest reasons for couples to divorce, I did a little research on some of the other causes. One thing I found (and was a little surprised about) is that arguing is another big reason for ending a marriage. So why am I surprised? Maybe it’s my own deluded thinking, but doesn’t every couple argue? Okay…I know, I know. Arguing once-in-a-while and every single day is very different. I will give you that. But arguing in itself doesn’t seem to be a good reason to divorce. The act of disagreeing, fighting or whatever else … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting: My View

Dr. Sears said that attachment parenting is natural. He went on to say that if a parent were on a desert island and had no parenting knowledge then attachment parenting would be the road that parent would naturally head down. I completely agree. Let me start off by saying that I did not practice attachment parenting to the letter. I will say that if I had a baby again, I would implement more attachment parenting into my parenting style. My expertise with attachment parenting extends to breastfeeding up to 15 months, co-sleeping here and there, using a sling, feeding on … Continue reading →

What Couples Argue About

I was recently reading an article from 2011 that listed the top 10 things that married couples fight about. What I was expecting wasn’t what I read. I was thinking more along the lines of fighting about finances, the raising of the children, and in-laws. But this list was quite surprising. For instance, one of the fights is about stubble in the sink. I am blessed enough to have a son and husband who shaves and doesn’t know how to wash their stubble down the drain (note the sarcasm). But have I ever gotten into a fight with my husband … Continue reading →