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Agreeing to Disagree

Sometimes in a marriage all you can do is agree to disagree. There are some topics that both the husband and wife may feel very strongly about and there may be no possibility of changing the other’s mind. That’s okay. That is what makes us unique. While it’s not a novel concept I do think it is one that is overlooked far too often, agreeing to disagree. It’s almost in the nature to want to “convince” someone that we are right or that they should see our side. I’m afraid that I spent way too many married years doing this. … Continue reading →

Agreeing on the Things that Matter

He likes football. She can’t stand it. He likes motorcross racing. The noise gives her a headache. She likes watching romantic movies. He’d rather die. She likes going hiking. He feigns a bad back whenever she suggests it. In every marriage, you’ll find that you have differences. This is part of what keeps your relationship spicy. Imagine if you were married to someone exactly like you … I think you’d get pretty bored, pretty fast. After all, if you were the only person you needed, why get married? We marry, in part, to bring other thoughts and ideas into our … Continue reading →

Agreeing to Disagree

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When it comes to marriage and problems, sometimes couples get too focused on winning an argument. The simple truth is when you focus on winning an argument – you are both deciding that one of you will be the loser. This is especially true when you are in the early years of a marriage. There is More than One Truth When we talk about arguments, it’s usually because the parties involved have different viewpoints. Your perspective and your perception are two of the main ingredients in determining not only how you feel about a matter, but also how you define … Continue reading →

Pick Your Battles

I’m a firm believer and I have blogged about picking your battles when it comes to raising teenagers. But I think the same can be said about a marriage. In fact, it seems that we tend to be a bit more nit-picky in our marriages than in any other relationship. Slight irritations can be made into huge deals. Those things we knew about our spouse when we married them suddenly becomes impossible to live with another day. But many of those irritations and frustrations we may experience in a marriage are just not worth the battle. You know the old … Continue reading →

When Children Test Your Marriage

Throughout all the years of my marriage, arguing about the raising of our children has never been an issue. We have always been in agreement. We have the same values and standards. I consider this to be a good thing, since the raising of the children is one of the more common areas that couples argue about. However…well, things have slightly changed now that they are teenagers. Suddenly it’s not so easy. Raising teenagers is like walking a very fine line. Sometimes you really don’t know how to balance the scales. Some things you say yes to, other things you … Continue reading →

Do You Want A Financial “Do Over”?

Does the state of your family’s finances make you want to throw your hands in the air and shout “do over!”? Sometimes, feeling like you are starting fresh can give individuals, couples, and families the motivation and inspiration that they need to get their finances back on track. If the idea of a fresh start appeals to you, here are a few tips that you can try. Whether you are taking a fresh start for your personal finances or working with your spouse to start your financial life over together, one very powerful thing that you can do that costs … Continue reading →

Could You Trust Your Husband?

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I wonder how many Mother’s Day, anniversary or birthday presents husbands have bought for their wives end up tucked away in the back of a cupboard, never to see the light of day or on their way back to the shop? Could you trust your husband to buy you an item or clothing, a handbag, a piece of jewelry, a CD or book you would like? Mick constantly astounds friends and acquaintances of ours by being able to buy clothes for me that not only fit but look nice, that I feel comfortable wearing as they are colors and styles … Continue reading →

Can You Really Put Your Spouse Before Your Children?

Have you ever been told that your spouse should be put before your children? Do you think that is even possible? I used to believe that was impossible. I looked at my relationship with my children as being so much more connected because they had come from me. Yet I had forgotten that I wasn’t alone in the process of creating life. My husband is just as much connected to them. I also thought that because they were so little for so long, what they needed from me couldn’t possibly be less than what I would give to my husband. … Continue reading →

Keeping the Lines Open

Silence is not always a bad thing. Sometimes you can spend time with someone you love, completely comfortable in their company without any words being spoken at all. But silence is not always good. In marriage it is important to keep the lines of communication open. How often have you seen a movie and the couple who are obviously long married are sitting in silence across from each other? How often have you also seen it in real life? The assumption is people who have been married a long time have nothing left to talk about. This morning Mick and … Continue reading →

Making it Meaningful

We had a friend some years back who applied to be a marriage celebrant. His aim was to be able to marry people who wanted a service but didn’t necessarily want it in a church but who still wanted something meaningful. If you and you intended are both members of the same church, then it makes sense to want to be married in that church. If you attend two different churches, then you are going to have to reach a compromise unless you decide to marry somewhere else entirely like a garden or a beach. It doesn’t have to make … Continue reading →