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Open Affairs

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It seems that Courtney and I are all about discussing affairs these days! In the past few weeks there have been numerous articles written and comments made about cheating and affairs. The topic is so broad and so intense that we just cannot help but discuss it. Today I will venture even further into the world of cheating on your mate. The type of affair that I will discuss today is what I call an open affair. I consider an open affair an affair that is not trying to be hidden. Yes, I have actually seen this one happen. These … Continue reading →

Thoughts on Marriage and Monogamy

As I was writing What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs, I got to wondering: If we’re not programmed to be monogamous, why do we try to be? (As part of my research for that piece I was surprised to learn that monogamy is not the norm for 97 percent of most mammals, including humans.) Something else I learned while researching another article, Affairs and STDs, was that as many as 60% of marriages could suffer a cheating spouse. At first I thought as high as 60% seemed ridiculous –-until I learned about how humans are not monogamous beings … Continue reading →

The Marriage Blog Week in Review for February 25-March 2

It was another slow week here in the Marriage Blog. Not intentionally. Lyn was battling the flu unfortunately. She was busy trying to recover her strength. I don’t have a good excuse for my lack of article submissions. Except it was the end of the month and I was scrambling to wrap up all sorts of loose ends. But in case you missed any of the few articles we did post, here’s a handy Week in Review recap for your reading pleasure. Tuesday, February 26 Can You Answer These 15 Questions About Your Significant Other? A friend of mine who … Continue reading →

What You Might Not Have Known About Affairs

In my quest to find information about affairs and STDs I stumbled across “Infidelity: Myths, Facts and Healing,” an article by Ofer Zur, Ph.D. Dr. Zur discussed all manner of things related to affairs and presented some very interesting facts about them. Or at least I found them interesting. They were things I didn’t know. I listed my revelations below. 1. Finally! A concise definition of infidelity. Maybe Dr. Zur’s not the first to define it thusly, but of all the definitions I’ve read this one was most succinctly stated: “Infidelity is unfaithfulness to a sexual partner in an agreed … Continue reading →

Affairs and STDs

You often hear people talk about the psychological issues they suffer after finding out a spouse has had an affair (namely lack of trust), and there’s the other kind of fallout that manifests (counseling and divorce), but what about the health issues? How many affairs result in the contraction of an STD? Perhaps it’s a weird thing to wonder about. (Then again, I’m prone to that. “How Do Monkeys Keep Their Nails Clipped?” is proof.) But there you have it, I’m wondering about it. I blame Wayne. Not because he cheated and gave me an STD, but because of his … Continue reading →

Does an STD Make the Crime of an Affair Even Worse?

While I was researching information about affairs and STDs I ran across an interesting discussion on a medical help website forum. It’s one of those where you can post a question for a doctor to answer. One woman had had her pap test come back indicating she had HPV. She feared she contracted it from her husband, who had been unfaithful. The doctor explained that even though she’s had normal pap tests her entire life, it might not necessarily be her husband’s fault. She could have contracted the HPV 20 years ago, it remained latent, and just now reactivated. The … Continue reading →

The Psychology of Why Married Men Cheat, Part 2

In Part 1 I presented some of the reasons the panelists interviewed on Today posed as reasons for why men cheat. Here are the rest. The “Me First” Mentality Jeff Gardere, the psychologist (and the only man on the panel), brought this one up, Dr. Laura seconded it, and Helen Fisher nodded in agreement: men are weak and selfish. I definitely believe this one. Sure, there are some women who can be considered high maintenance, but all men are –no matter how simple they may seem. Admit it, ladies. You may have the greatest guy in the world, but he … Continue reading →

The Psychology of Why Married Men Cheat, Part 1

In addition to Matt Lauer interviewing Dina Matos on Today this morning about New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s prostitution sting scandal, they also brought in a panel of experts (Dr. Laura Schlessinger, anthropologist Helen Fisher, and psychologist Jeff Gardere) to examine why men cheat. (Men in general as well as men in high places.) They focused on men because they’re more inclined to do it than women. The statistic they presented was that one in five married men have cheated. (Compared to only 12 percent of married women having cheated.) So why is it men are more prone to it? … Continue reading →