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Adultery is a Symptom

Adultery isn’t what kills a marriage. It is just a symptom. I read this idea recently in a novel and thought there is a lot of truth to this statement. The novel was Every Secret Thing by Laura Lippmann. But let’s examine that statement. What sort of things contribute to a spouse having an affair? The first thing that springs to my mind is that they are not getting what they want in the marriage relationship. It may be they are being neglected by their spouse. This can come about through busyness with work, family or even other activities like … Continue reading →

The Things that Last

We all need reminders about what’s most important in life. Recently someone forwarded me a cute little email with the Charlie Brown philosophy. As you scroll down through the email it asks you to name various people, like the five wealthiest people in the world. Hands up anyone who has a clue. For sure I didn’t and what is more didn’t care. Then it asked you to name the last Heisman trophy winners. For starters I didn’t even know what the Heisman trophy was. So if you do you’re ahead of me. And I knew I wouldn’t have a clue … Continue reading →

Taking Responsibility

Actions have consequences. It’s something we need to remember in marriage, in parenting and in all our relationships. Yet one of the biggest problems often apparent in marriages and society in general is not taking responsibility for actions. Recently in a book I read the woman had an affair with her brother-in-law which not only impacted on her husband and their teenage daughter, but her husband’s sister and their family as well. It wasn’t a particularly good book but what it did bring out what the lack of personal responsibility. When everything went pear shaped, this woman and the man … Continue reading →

What Does It Mean To Be Faithful?

Yesterday we looked at the idea of being faithful? But what does it mean to be faithful in marriage? Yes there is the commitment and need to be faithful to your partner sexually. That means more though than just not committing the sexual act with anyone else. It means not even fantasizing about it with another person. That should then affect the way we treat members of the opposite sex. We should not flirt with them and get into situations which can be wrongly interpreted. It may mean not kissing or hugging members of the opposite sex no matter how … Continue reading →