Search Results for: blog a history of unusual valentines days

Holidays, Travel, and Family Expectations

Holidays can be tricky for anyone, in any family situation. Married couples without kids, however, face a special conundrum: with whom to spend the day(s)? Again, this can be tough for anyone, but childless marrieds face a particular pressure: you don’t have kids, so it falls to you to drive sometimes long distances to attend the family get-together. Of course that returns us to the initial question: with whose family do we spend the holidays? We pick one side of the family for Thanksgiving and the other for Easter, because Jon’s parents and my parents live far enough away from … Continue reading →

My Family’s Link to the History of Valentine’s Day Cards

Sometimes, the place that your family calls home can have some fun facts associated with it that add interest to your family history. This is one of the reasons that I like family history books – they add depth to the information that is found in family trees. For my family, one of the fun facts about the city where my mother and father were raised as well as the town that they live in (and where I was raised) has to do with Valentine’s Day. Both my mother and my father were raised in Worcester, Massachusetts. My mother was … Continue reading →

Finding Inspiration from Valentine’s

It’s another Valentine’s Day.  I’m not sure what Jonathan and I are going to do this year; last year I wrote about how we’ve rarely, if ever, celebrated the holiday.  He doesn’t even need to find me any candy hearts, because the box he bought me last year was so big I still have some left over. This year, I do kind of feel inspired to do something special for him.  However, I’m not sure if I actually want to do it on Valentine’s Day.  I’m still not sure that I like the idea of one day set aside for … Continue reading →

How Do You Define PDA?

Recently my volunteering friends and I discussed PDA (public displays of affection).  My two friends talked about their husbands’ discomfort with PDA.  Well, I could relate to that: it tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable.  But then I learned that what they meant by PDA was hand-holding, hugs, a quick kiss. My one friend said it took her husband years before he would hold her hand in public.  The other said that when she and her husband meet up somewhere, when her husband arrives all the other women in the room get a hug, or sometimes even a … Continue reading →

Quelling Irrational Romantic Expectations

I have a secret shame: sometimes I expect or want traditional fluffy romance from Jonathan. Yes, it’s a shocker, given how often I soap box against it. The thing is I shouldn’t be ashamed of these occasional urges. The mature response would be that, although most of the time it’s not something I consider necessary or even want, if I believe it’s valid for other people (which I do) I should have no problem accepting that it’s O.K. when I want it, too. I would feel that way if it wasn’t for the form in which these desires for traditional … Continue reading →

The Meeting of the Parents

A friend of ours just got engaged to his girlfriend. We both like her a lot so we’re really happy for them. This past weekend was a big deal for them: the meeting of the families. Both their sets of parents came down to the area for their first official meeting (or possibly their first meeting period; our friends have only been dating for about a year and their families don’t live in the area). “Did you get a chance to ask Rich how it went yet?” I asked Jon. “Nope,” Jon replied with a bit of a grimace. We … Continue reading →

Ditching the Husband to Hang with the In-Laws

The in-laws can be a dreaded part of the marriage experience, for some more so than others, and especially for the wife facing her husband’s family. I’ve had a little tension with Jonathan’s relatives, but overall my experience with them has been overwhelmingly positive. In fact, I don’t always need Jonathan around as a “buffer” or even just as an excuse, to spend time with his relatives. Jon’s part of a big family so there are a number of people with whom for me to interact. I first really hit it off with his older sister. We’re very similar in … Continue reading →

Friendship: the Foundation of Marriage

Last week my husband and I made cookies for breakfast. It is supposed to be healthier to eat a batch of cookies, or really any dessert, early in the morning rather than later at night. This way we have more time to burn off those extra calories. That’s not why we made them, though. We made them because the night before I’d experimented with making Pasta Puttanesca (not bad, though I think in the future I’d just swap the anchovies for tuna), and its smell still hung around the kitchen. I figured the best way to get rid of it … Continue reading →

One-Sided Romance

Valentine’s Day has come and passed, but this year it really made me start thinking about romance. I’m sure that’s in part because I now officially write about love and marriage. But as the ads on television and the radio were dedicated to talking about getting gifts for the holiday, as friends posted pictures and comments on their Facebook pages about what their husbands got them or the frantic lines of men in department stores and flower shops on the day, I really began to wonder: why is romance so one-sided? Think about it: usually when we think about something … Continue reading →

Diamonds Do Not Equal Love

When I first started at the Marriage Blog I mentioned my feelings on diamond commercials and promised to expound on them. Given that we see many such ads this time of year, it seems like an appropriate time to make my promised follow-up. I’m not a big jewelry person so diamonds never appealed to me. That wouldn’t really be a big deal, except that for my entire life I’ve been inundated by ads and assumptions telling me the opposite. “So what?” you might wonder. Well, the media can have a much more powerful effect, subtle though it might be, on … Continue reading →