Search Results for: blog 10 ways to avoid being a bad spouse

Considering Your Spouse’s Point of View

The difference between knowing and really knowing, or feeling, something is amazing. I’m the first person to tell others that a key to any relationship, but especially a marriage, is trying to think from the other person’s point of view. It’s absolutely essential in a marriage, because we are spending the rest of our lives living with this person. The more we try to understand how our spouse thinks, the better off we’ll be. I know this, and yet it’s so hard for me to act on it. For example: once in a while my husband has to work the … Continue reading →

Family Members and Control Issues During Illness

Ideally, when you have a serious illness, family should rally around you and offer unconditional support. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes illness can bring out the worst in people, and I’m not even talking about the person who is actually sick. Tensions can run high when you are facing a serious or possibly life threatening illness. All of a sudden, a sense of control has been removed, both from the person affected by the illness and the family and friends around the person. This affects people in different ways. In my family, it seems that we all want to … Continue reading →

How Brain Injuries Can Affect Your Money

I was in a car accident back in March and sustained a concussion in the left quadrant of my brain. That’s right … the left side. The side that controls logic, reasoning, ability to do math, and consequently, how you handle money. I’ve always been the bill-payer in our family. I have a handy-dandy chart, I know when everything is due, and on payday, I sit down and pay all the bills. This has been my routine since I got married. Come rain, come shine … the bills are paid on payday. And yet, for some reason, two months ago … Continue reading →

Men Don’t Nag

One of the interesting things here in the Marriage Blog is that Dale and I often find ourselves thinking about the same things. I was just about to write a post about nagging, when Dale beat me to it! This is a good thing, because it really helped me to think about the issue a little more. Dale made some great points about nagging. Many studies have shown that nagging doesn’t work. The person being nagged tends to tune it out, and the person nagging doesn’t really believe that things will change, even if she can’t stop nagging. Yes, notice … Continue reading →

Ten Tips about Arguments

Yesterday we looked at the fact that disagreements are not always bad in a marriage. Here are some further tips for how to deal with those argumentative times. 1. Stick to the topic at hand. Don’t bring up past issues and arguments. The past should be a closed book with a sign that says ‘Do not open.’ Once it is over, leave it over. Don’t hark back to it. 2. Don’t attack your spouse. And avoid expressions like ‘You always do……’ or ‘You never say……’ 3. Do not resort to naming calling and using belittling words. Such behavior achieves nothing … Continue reading →

Don’t Fight Fire with Fire

The argument starts innocently enough. One of you may have had a bad day or a bad morning and is grumbling about something. The other person walks into the room and becomes an immediate target. “Why can’t you ever remember to do such and such?!?” The other person on the defensive immediately snaps back, “Well, at least I’m not always doing this, that and the other thing!” The next instant you know, you are in a full-blown argument with issues being dragged up from every direction and point in time. This resulting argument is now blown so out of proportion … Continue reading →

Frugal Month in Review: November 2008

November to be is the beginning of two things. The holiday season starts with Thanksgiving, and then there is winter. Despite the fact that winter doesn’t officially start until next month, the fall seems to give way to the winter in November anyway. We had a day of snow already. Here is looking ahead to December and the end of the year! November 1st Frugal Month in Review: October 2008 “Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.” – George Eliot. November 2 … Continue reading →

10 Things You Don’t Say To Your Wife

Posted on by

Occasionally men need reminders and husbands need them even more so. I’m lucky, I have a husband that listens when he’s told that saying something ‘like that’ is probably not a good idea. In an effort to maintain peace and harmony, we occasionally make lists for each other so we know what’s going on, what needs to be done and what would be a really bad idea to say. So I thought I’d share a list that we’ve compiled over the last few years. Things You Don’t Say To Your Wife 1. Honey, the dress is beautiful. You look like … Continue reading →

Guilty Until Proven Innocent: A Husband’s Issue with Blame

Once upon a time I wrote an article called Flaws: Sometimes It’s the Imperfections that are the Most Endearing. Sometimes they’re not. I know I have a lot of quirks that drive Wayne bananas. I blow my nose way too loud. (I’ll admit, sometimes even more obnoxiously than usual. Depends on if I’m in the mood to torment Wayne or not.) I’m very slow. (Sometimes mentally, almost always physically. I don’t like to rush. I like to take my time gathering things, be they my thoughts, my glasses, my coat…) Wayne’s got some quirks too. His tendency to say, “Whatever” … Continue reading →

Making Deposits Instead of Withdrawals in Your Relationship

A few weeks back I caught part of an interview with Joel Osteen on CBS’s Early Show. He was promoting his newest book, Become a Better You. The part I tuned in during was when he was talking about making deposits instead of withdrawals. How we can’t just expect to take all the time; we have to spend time giving also. He compared relationships to bank accounts: you can’t get anything out of them if you don’t put anything in. It was a similar concept to something another favorite of mine, Dr. Wayne Dyer, advocates: “You can’t give away what … Continue reading →